Feeling all wet

weight: 218 (guess it wasn't a hormonal bump)
treadmill: yes - 30 minutes
Didn't set any specific goals for today, but did have an interview scheduled.

I took the whole week off. Slept in, didn't watch my eating, didn't get on the treadmill. Sometimes I just need to break away.
I've been mulling over some ideas and self explorations. I realize that I tend to quit on things just before I finish them. I wonder why. I do think I am concerned that I don't do things well, so maybe I quit so I can't fail. There is some logic in that. If it isn't done, it isn't a total failure - it's in progress still.
In my new calling I have been handed some "hurry up and take care of this" kind of responsibilities. My knee jerk reaction is to put off taking care of things. But I want to do well, I want to be successful at this. I'm pleased to say, that so far, I have jumped right in and haven't thought twice about making phone calls or contacting folks via e-mail. So far I am enjoying some success. But things are getting busy - I am concerned that I am going to get lost in alot of last minute "to does," such that I won't have the time to make some long term effective plans.
(warning - change in topic)
I don't think I'm a particulary successful blogger. I tend to ramble and vent. Though venting is a valid type of blog. I read others that tell creative narratives, or of exciting things happening in the lives of others....and I feel mine is blahhhh.
I need an outlet to express my ideas, as unstructured or random as they may be. I know I tend to be wordy - maybe a good blog dump will save my husband and children from having to listen to me ramble on.
(another topic change)I got to talk to a young mother on Sunday who I have been curious about for some time.
I won't share details of our conversation for fear that someone reading this might figure out who she is. I respect her privacy.
But she has gone through some difficult times in her life and still deals with the consequences of it all. She struggles for happiness and emotional survival. Now isn't that a vague enough statement to describe many of us? Don't we struggle for happiness and emotional stablility. Is it a woman thing that we feel guilt and less than acceptable? We tend to feel we always miss the mark. I'm not saying that the issues this woman is dealing with aren't truly overwhelming - they are. She is fighting a valiant fight against terrible odds.
I think back on all the fine women I have known who have been so encouraging for me. Those who call me talented, who brag to others about my great teaching skills, or my fantastic talks. Who claim to look forward to my lessons or comments. Who proclaim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when my daughter does something terrific. They build me, they encourage me, they feed my inner little girl who is only trying to please, but feels like I'm not worthy.
I crave those words where someone says "well done."
I know I need to say those words to others. There are many who are starving and sick with self doubt or overwhelming negatives.
We are vessels of living water/love. Some of us feel empty and need to be filled. Some are fortunate enough to be overflowing and able to share with others.
It is my thought that even those of us who feel like we have a hole in our buckets, can be generous and help fill the buckets of others. That maybe there will be a general splashing that in turn will refill ours. Living water/love is not finite. It increases with sharing.
For too long I have hoarded my water. I need to be more generous.
So maybe for the next month or so, my exploration of the world will involve some splashing.