checking in

Still in physical therapy. Some good days, some bad.
I went back to work this week. First couple of days were great, but then I started going down hill. By Friday, I was in some real pain. Then Friday afternoon the Physical Therapist hit a nerve in my leg that was particularly tender - had a rough night sleeping.
I find I can walk reasonably well, though if I over do I need to use my cane.
I cannot sit for any length of time - annoys a nerve in the back of my leg.
This also happens when I drive - so no driving for me for awhile. I can get to work and back (it's only a couple blocks away), but I need to curtail all other errands for awhile.
I had Ron take me to the grocery store tonight. Even sitting in the passenger sit was a little rough - until I figured out how to prop my leg up with my cane - that eased the pressure on the nerve.
I feel like I've taken two steps forward, and one step back.
2 more weeks of physical therapy, then they decide if I'm healing well enough not to need surgery.
I need to take good care of my self and do my homework stretchs - they do seem to help.
No more for now, sitting to write the entry has gotten too painful.

Coming off the cliff

Sorry Mo - the rest of the story....
Physical Therapy is both wonderful and brutal. I do feel better afterwards, but some of the treatments are quite painful. The therapist has taken to massaging one particular tendon that is very!!!! tight --- and that requires certified torture techniques.
First visit I felt great, second time around I felt awful (that is when the torture began).
I have homework stretches to do, that I am being good about doing. I am noticing an increased flexibility, but my sciatic nerve in the injured leg is competing for attention. So sometimes sitting or laying down is worse then the pain of standing and walking.
But I am able to go longer stretchs without serious pain or discomfort now.

My biggest problem is that I'll feel pretty good at the beginning of the day, but by the end of the day there is no relief. Yesterday I felt good enough to go out and run some errands with Ronni - but by the time we were done, I was regretting it. I couldn't sleep last night because of the pain.

With all of this I am still having to go into my classroom daily to set up for a sub - so I'm not totally goofing off.
I need to go back to work next week. I was worried about how I would handle the afternoons (figuring I could survive the morning), so I asked the PT about crutches. Turns out the school district has a policy not to allow teachers to work on crutches. Makes sense for insurance/liability reasons --- so he suggested a cane instead.

After today's treatment, I hobbled down to the medical supply place and picked up a pretty little cane. This thing is great!!! I can walk with no pain. I can walk even faster than I do on my own. I see this as a serious answer to some of my issues. I also bought a new heating pad, with is a nice change from the ice bag therapy -- almost feels like a spa in bed :).

I'll still have to be careful not to overdue, but I think things are going to work out. My leg is getting stronger, and flexibility is increasing. And this has only been one week of therapy. 3 more weeks of torture and I should be good as new (I hope).
(oh and I'm starting to lose weight -- after the injury I gained 7 lbs, I'm hoping mostly in water weight from the swelling. That is starting to subside)

Of track for awhile

Report from urgent care - something isn't right, but they can't tell for sure what. X-Rays look ok. Gave pain reliever and said followup with my own doctor. Hint of possible orthopedic care needed if this doesn't get better.
Rested rest of Saturday and all day Sunday, back to feeling better until I walk around some.

Report from my doctor on Monday afternoon: He thinks its a damaged miniscus (sp?). Prescibed an anti-inflammatory and physical therapy for a month. If it doesn't get better we will do an MRI and see if surgery is required.
This anti-inflamatory seems pretty good, but haven't walked too much to test it out. I start PT in the morning. Doc says with regular icing and sitting down when necessary I should be able to handle work (he doesn't know what a room full of 1st graders is like - sitting down, regular icing.... I don't think so! I have taken the week off. If the PT and medication make it tolerable, I'll be back to work next Tuesday).
Who would have ever thunk -- I get a sports injury from using the treadmill in the morning. I tell you, exercise is bad for you! Every famous athelet I know of has some bad things happen to their body -- the Olympics is full of it.
Mild exercise and light weights - that sounds like the route for me.

day seven

I was in a wheelchair at school today - helped some, but the pain now encompasses my entire leg. Mostly the upper muscle region. I made it home and now am in bed with ice. It used to be that resting or sitting revived me for awhile, but I am beyond that now. I'm resting at home tonight and planning to go into urgent care somewhere tomorrow AM. They have equipment to diagnose that my doctor does not have in his office. Stubborness isn't working, so I am resorting to those who practice medicine.
I'm greaful for a laptop with a DVD player. Movies in bed -I can handle that.

Fieldwork: Day 6

OK, this isn't funny --- my knee is still being a royal pain!
If I sit or lay down for awhile, the pain goes away and I have complete range of movement. But it doesn't take much walking or standing before it tightens up, and pinches in the back. I can't even bend it because of swelling. And it hurts!!!
Walking from my classroom to the car at the end of the day is torture. (I can make it to my classroom in the morning alright).
I'm thinking maybe I should see the chiropractor (spelling?) rather than the M.D. - however my M.D. is also training in sports medicine, so I think he may be familiar with this kind of thing. Shoot - gotta survive till Monday.
Can't think of doing anything else but basic survival chores right now.

Fieldwork Day 5

Slept in - resting my knee,but it still hurts!

AM weight -220 (ok, I over did on seconds for dinner last night)
treadmill - no out of time, and don't want to aggravate my knee

significant chore: Nick's birthday - gotta make a cake
exploration: no specific plans (today is one of those survival days)

Fieldwork report: Today was quite painful. I count myself lucky to have just gotten through the day. I tried to visit the doctor after work, but had to make an appointment for next Monday after school. As a bit of good news, the battery charge on the car "took", so I had wheels today. I had Ronni make Nick's cake, and we just had leftovers for dinner. Nick was ok with that - and thanked me for the Director's chair frame I bought him.
My knee felt better after laying down and resting for awhile.
I guess my "reach out to the world" thing today was in phone calls. I received a phone call from an old friend who lives in Tennessee. I'd been thinking about her lately, so it was fun to hear her voice on the phone. She has a daughter that I want to introduce to my son -- but the reality of that happening we both know is slim. It was great to catch up and to know a good friend is doing fine in the world. Later in the evening I called my brother-in-law to wish him Happy Birthday. He is always fun to talk to. As a former radio host, he has a quick wit. We bantered a bit and my mood lifted.
I helped Ron chose a birthday gift for Nick (so it was kind of like giving Nick 2 things - except one is in Ron's name) Bought a birthday card for my Brother-in-law and a sympathy card for my sister-in-law (inside joke).
Wrecking the journal, not tonight. I've wrecked my knee enough - I don't want any more destruction right now. (though last night's page burning was rather interesting. I'll post a phote when I can find the camera and transfer cable.)

Fieldwork: Day 4

Wow, got up at 5 am today - and it wasn't hard. I've been feeling really happy this past week too - I'll have to be careful when the downswing comes so I don't let myself drop this progress.



AM weight 219 (a little discouraging, I have been doing better than this, this past month - but I've notice that I pick up a couple pounds when my knee is swollen,and it really hurts this morning)

Treadmill - 30 minutes (though not as fast because of the knee pain)

Significant chore - I need to get the sound on my computer at school hooked up to the speaker system. I have the cabling, just need to run it)

Exploration Opportunities: I'm planning on taking my camera with me to recess duty.

Fieldwork report: Today could be chalked up as one of those bad days. Car battery died, knee inflammed, and while the sound is now connected from computer to speakers - the web page we use refuses to show the video feed I need.
But I had it in my mind to walk home today anyway, so was mentally prepared for it (even though it further agravated my knee). I have a good supply of Advil, which works great for me. and I am hoping for the best on the video thing.
As I walked home I found a nearly round rock to add to my collection, and I had fun taking pictures of nature on the way. I tried taking pictures at recess, but the kids were quickly distracted and wanted to pose for me. I was hoping for more "candid" kind of stuff. In retrospect, I may have chosen to encourage posing just for the fun of it.
I didn't get to go to the store to buy bubbles, so I'll have to do that when the car situation is cleared up.
The battery is plugged into a charger tonight, so hopefully I'll have a vehicle tomorrow.
I'm suppose to burn a page in my journal tonight - good timing, I'm in the mood to destroy something!

Photos from today

OK, the limits of a point and shoot camera are evident here. The camera seems to be focused on the branches in the back and the leaf in the front is blurry. It has some nice veining that is being lost.








This medium range shot works for my camera - the veining on the bigger leaf is clear. I like how this shot fills the screen.

I tried to shot one of the plants in the house, but my camera's auto flash kicked in, washing the affect I was going for. Again the forward leaves are out of focus. I know there is a way to play with that on my camera, will have to study it some more.

I was going for a "magazine cover" kind of shot here. Flowers off to one side so type could be placed over the greenery. But alas, the pretty flowers are out of focus. The greenery in the back is what my camera tried to catch.

This was right outside my front door as I headed out to the library. God can really set up a dramatic shot!

Fieldwork: Day 3

Saturday - no pressing appointments or chores. I can waste it or spend wisely. I have a little to do list, but none of it is vital to be done.


AM weight: 219
Exercise: 30 minutes on the treadmill

Significant chore: Hmmm, I suppose I should do the grocery shopping today. And before that I should clean out the refrigerator. I want to go to the public library.

Creative Opportunity: I had another idea for a bubble drawing and some thoughts on photography - will share in my fieldwork report at the end of the day. The day is wide open, lets see what happens.

Fieldwork report: Got the chores done, but nothing on my to-do list. But that's ok. I was going to try drawing another bubble today, but the leaves on the grape vine outside my yard caught my attention instead. So I grabbed my camera and went outside to photograph them. Maybe that is another collection - photos of leaves. I do have some real leaves I collected previously. (I am already a collector). As I tried to go to the library, I photographed a few leaves in the front yard, but it's windy right now, so the branches were not too cooperative. (tried to go to the library - it was closed)
Thoughts on photography -- hmmm, what was I thinking...... I already mentioned my opinion that creative people seemed to use cameras alot. I had been thinking it might be fun to buy some bubbles and have my class blow them outside while I took pictures. It made me wish I had one of those cool cameras that could take pictures real fast. If I turn the autopreview off on my digital camera, it might go faster. I could also use my video camera instead, then pull off individual shots as I want. I was thinking I might find a good shot to be the basis of some drawings. I need some good pictures of bubbles to improve my own drawing. I was wondering if I could buy some thin tracing paper to trace elements of a photograph, then use that tracing as the foundation drawing for a larger piece of art. I'd like to be able to enlarge a photo before I trace it.
So for my exploring the world progress - I'm paying more attention to things around me, and I've given myself permission to use my camera more often - infact, I'm giving myself assignments to use the camera. That is a new direction for me - as I mentioned before, I have not been much of a picture taker. But I love looking at pictures. Cost and storage have been issues, but they aren't now.
Wrecking my journal - today I'm to leave a page deliberately blank. OK, done. Yawn.
Tomorrow is Sunday - so I take the day off from blogging. The next day will be Monday, January 5th. I'll be back to work in the classroom, so we'll see if I can get up early enough to write my prelude and do my treadmill.
It's been fun having time to play with exploring, but Monday will be when discipline will have to kick in. Can I rise above the routine of just getting through the day?

An attempt to add photos

Lets see how this goes. If I'm doing it right - this is my bubble drawing:

Wow, that was easy!

Here is a close up to show some detail. I tried to add some rainbow effect in the bubble - it is very light.

I did the inital drawing in pencil, then went back in with colored pencil. I think to modify it I would go the original in color pencil as the black pencil is a little too dark. I would also add a few more mini bubbles on the bottom (Ron called it a wart- that is how he could tell it was bubbles and not balloons -- balloons would be a good sphere study too)

Just for fun, this is drawing I did a while back for a family drawing project. Ronni shared with us an art assignment from school, so we did it too. We were supposed to draw a picture of a shoe as if it were going to be animated. I had Pixar in mind.

Fieldwork: Day 2

I can feel the fear starting to creep in. I’ve exposed myself too much. I’m going to fail. This blog is too wordy, intellectual, silly, obscure for anyone else to enjoy (then if no one is reading, why should I fear?) I want to retreat. I usually do this, then quit moving forward. I’m worried that today will become a stumbling block. I have an eye appointment and will go work in my classroom so my day is pretty scheduled– this will be a good practice run for when school starts again. I realize I need to blossom in the environment I’m in – but the minutia of stuff I have to worry about there can sometimes be stifling. A classroom of young children – should be a stimulating place. I need to adjust my attitude, quit trying to control the flow of exploration – but go where it takes me. I have some ideas . (notes for fieldwork: camera, bubbles…) Gotta get ready for my eye appointment now.
Weight: 219
Exercise: Not this morning, no time
Significant chore: Eye exam and classroom preparation
Creativity opportunity: Do something different with classroom prep. Spice it up a bit.

Phew - the eye exam was a relief. I'm not going blind (a worry I hadn't expressed). It's only cataracts. But that is the subject of a different blog.
Today was interesting. I was thinking last night about my exploration of the world, the idea of collecting items of interest. I looked around my desk area and realized I had started a small collection that has caught my imagination. Balls, or more mathematically - spheres. Ok, so I only have 2 so far. A large marble that has been kicking around the house that I haven't wanted to throw away, and a little rubber ball. I thought of buying some pretty stone spheres, but realized that I need to let this collection happen naturally - found and free materials, not controlled and purchased. I decided to run with the idea of expressing spheres artistically. I decided I want to do some work on bubbles. I imagined a bubble picture as I was falling asleep. This afternoon when I got home, I drew it. I still have a way to go to learn to control the medium - but I'm very satisfied with my first effort. When my camera is cleared out, I'll photograph it and post it here.
My fieldwork notes say camera. I have noticed creative people use cameras alot. I'm not much of a picture taking person. Mostly I think because I grew up in an era when it cost money to develop film, and then I don't do much with pictures afterward. But I do have a digital camera now. I could photograph and create digitally at no expense and without concern for the environment (paper, developer chemicals, etc....). I want to try taking pictures of bubbles to help me in my drawing.
I was thinking about exploring at school while teaching. I have recess duty next week. I could move around the playgroud with my camera and see what happens. I won't be able to post pictures of children here, but I could create something for my museum exhibit. I may even find something that inspires some artwork.
Interesting - I thought I wanted to write, but it sounds more like I want to create art. I want to be more hands on and physical.
In setting up my classroom today, I was developing a math center for reviewing fact families. We have done this in past with little paper triangles. To kick it up a bit, I swung by the craft store on the way home from the eye doctor and bought a package of scrapbooking paper. So my students will be doing their assignment on brightly colored, textured triangles this time. Maybe I can take them and make something with it when they are done....
I was thinking about my desk space some more. It is a very fluid area. I straighten it, then dump more things on the table. I rearrange and shift as needed. This is a living space. Today, as I did my bubble drawing, I had to rearrange some lamps so the shadows would not obscure my work. Right now my desk lamp is the the only light in this dark room. Very cozy.
As far as the Explore the World book - I haven't read anything new today. I am savoring and exploring the ideas I have already read up to now. I'm letting them expand a little in my mind.
Wrecking the Journal -- Assignment - break the spine of the book. Well I've done that before, over the course of reading books in bed. This was not particularly liberating or exciting. I folded back my recording journal - but as a paper back book, the spine is pretty resilent. Same with the purchased book. In my recording journal there is now one middle page the book automatically falls open to now. I marked that page: This is where the broken spine opens up to and dated it today. I don't know what page number it is yet, cause I haven't numbered that far yet.
I am surprised that today worked out fine. I'm not so worried (I know I was really scared about the eye thing). I'm feeling a little freer to be me. I can do this.

Fieldwork: Day 1

Already feel succesful this morning. I've exercised, submitted a recipe to a contest and ate a healthy breakfast. Today is vitally important as I will establish the format for my daily blog posts. I vascillated on what information I should include, but I've decided to bare all and keep myself honest.

AM Weight: 220

Exercise: 30 minutes on treadmill and mild stretches afterward.

Significant chore: Put away Christmas decorations

Creativity goal: Start destroying a journal and exploring the world!!

End of the day report--
Wow, this has been a good day. Christmas put away, napped, got some good planning and organizing done, make progress on my church calling and put some positive social activities on my calendar. I even have time now for a personal movie in bed. I'm feeling good about who I am today.

Fieldwork notes:
Wrecking the Journal - well today's assignment was rather administrative. Number pages of the book. Now that did present somewhat of a creative challenge. Regular books are numbered on each side of the page, but this book is going to require me to tear out, burn and othewise destroy some pages, which will mean the whole leaf - not just one side. So I made the decision to number the leaves. I went ahead and numbered them in the book I bought, along with the journal I will actually work in. At this point, I numbered only up to 20. It occured to me that the book isn't written to be an "activity a day" kind of thing, so I may run out of things to do by the end of the year. I'll take Sundays off, and allow occasional holidays as I wish. I may even make up a few destructive activities on my own. It seems strange to talk about distruction as a creative process. I'll mull that over somemore and when I do my first destructive deed I'll share some of what has come to mind. Planning for destruction seems like an oxymoron, but has some interesting implications for progress and improvement.

Exploring the world: There is alot of beginning instruction in the book for this. There is an emphasis on collecting random things, things that catch your fancy -- I already do this, but now have justification -- I'm exploring. My challenge will be on how to store and explore the materials. There was one page with some ideas for tools to use, I marked it with a sticky arrow. Here again, the book is not set up as an activity a day, so my mind is free to expand on the project. Already I think I would like to take a collection or two and use them as inspiration for painting projects. I want to learn to paint, I have started a painting, but I need some justification for this. Maybe justification isn't the right word -- I need, a starting point, a purpose, a theme to work in... that is closer to what I mean. I can work on a collection, explore it on canvas with paint. That'll accomplish exploration and expression together. I like that idea (came up with it right now).
Today's book activity was to do a quick write about where I was sitting. I realized that everything I am interested in is right in my little corner. It is very crowded, but comfortable for me. I am constantly organizing and adjusting it - it is like it is alive for me. I feel productive here, creative, satisfied. I do have to be careful though. I can spend so much time working here, that my muscles become stiff. My bad knee needs me to walk around sometimes. Maybe I need a timer for occasional marathon sessions. I did realize I have alot of lamps here. I have a desk lamp, a lamp on the night stand next to me. A gooseneck lamp, also on the nightstand (has a cool dimmer switch), and a clip on booklight. Not to mention the candle sitting on the desktop drawer unit. I have two lights on right now. I like the way the lights cast shadows. It is not overly bright, but bright enough for my work. The room behind me is dim. This kind of feels like a little stage area. A little cricket just started chirping quietly. Sounds like a background sound effect. This is my happy space, my personal place.