fieldwork day 10

weight: 215
treadmill: 30 minutes - watched episode of Murphy Brown too. Love that show!
Significant chore: get some classroom paperwork and cleaning caught up. Also need to accomplish something here at home.
Exploration opportunities: Well, I should work on my painting.


Fieldwork;

As the day starts I am really sluggish. I think I am in a depressed cycle right now. Gotta snap out of this.

Partway through the day - arrgh - still dragging here. Skipped out on going to my classroom. I was able to get the school webpage updated from home. I have some papers I can grade here and enter via the Internet - so I'll be caught up on the most important stuff. If I get in early on Monday (ha,ha,ha,ha), I can get a little done. We will be going on a field trip, so I can finish up after school (ha,ha,ha,ha).

Nick heard about my funk and roped me in to helping him solve an online puzzle. go to: http://www.iamnottome.com/. It'll look like only a picture, but actually it is a riddle to solve. After solving each one you go deeper and deeper into the riddle. Nick showed me how the first page worked, then I made a suggestion for the second page (I figured out the words were lyrics to a song - Nick was surprised I picked that up so quick, little did I know he had already solved that page and was just humoring me). We continued on another page, and again Nick was a little surprised at my ideas for solving - again, he had already solved it. So we got onto the 4th page -where Nick was stumped. We worked together for about 1/2 hour and finally solved it. (Nick figured out the final key - I was able to take the information and then find the answer- good teamwork). In our google searches we found lots of other folks out there working on the puzzle. Some are off on their thinking, some right on. I have to say it did wake me up a bit. But then Nick had to go to work.

I took a nap.

Finally got the porch in back hosed off. I need to find that one feng shui spot in the house that needs work to help pull me out of this blah state. My painting still stands unworked on.

Evening update: I got up after a bit and decided to throw caution to the wind and do a background on my painting. I'm limited in what color tubes I have so it turned out somewhat more vibrant than I was planning. I've had to walk away from it and come back to look at it a couple of times. It is growing on me. It is actually what I wanted to do -experiment with just getting color on canvas. The next time I'll need to add in the flowers and details I want. I left my camera at school -so I'll have to take a picture on Monday. But I do feel some accomplishment now. Cassey told me it always takes more paint than you expect it to. That is very true. I need to go buy more pant now. I'm feeling a little braver about attacking one of these other canvases.

fieldwork day 9

weight: 216 - no surprises, didn't gain that's good.
treadmill - not today - early seminary again
significant chore: I need to get the bulletin announcments ready for the March bulletin. Tonight is her deadline.
Exploraton opportunities: I'm still a little sluggish here. I need to keep my eyes open.

Field report: We painted in class today. We are studying the works of children's author Eric Carle. He has an interesting way of doing his illustrations by using collage. He creates sheets of painted paper that he uses for cutting out for his collages. In his studio he will spend a day or so painting up these papers, creatively adding swirls, scratches, splots and such. He then files these in drawers by color (Reds, blues, greens, etc....). Then when he wants to create a lady bug or spider, or such, he'll get the color papers he needs and cut and pastes away. (It's a little more complicated than cut and paste - you need to see the video).
We are going to do a bulletin board representing his work, so today we painted sheets of paper to give us the color pieces we need for next week's collage project.
The activity reminded me a little of that art work I had seen at the hospital, so it was fun to begin to play with it.
As we were cleaning up, one of the girls (my class artist) noticed that the colors on the clean up cloth looked quite artistic. So she decided to save the wipey and during free time mounted it on a background paper to make a new piece of artwork. Others copied her with their wipe up cloths. One boy, who wasn't part of the clean up crew, got a clean wipey to color. I as fascinated to see the children make art out of essentially trash like this. Improvised art. This is what it is to be creative, to see the art all around us. To open our minds to the possibilities. Today I got a reminder lesson on seeing art.

Back to Play around here - Field work: Day 8ish

It is 9:13 pm. Usually I start my report in the morning, setting goals and then write the fieldwork report in the evening before bed. But I need to get this going again, so I'm writing it all at night.
During the first 4 days or so of my fieldwork I was really enjoying myself. I hadn't felt so vibrant in a long time. Then the month and a half of my knee injury dragged me down.
I found the Exploration and Wreak the Journal books, so I'm ready to roll (for those new to this blog, you'll have to go to the early January posts to see what in the world I'm talking about).

So here goes;
Weight this morning: 216 (not bad in perspective, though I was actually down to 214 a couple days ago - but I'll get there again)

Treadmill - not today. Had early seminary pickup duty.

Significant Chore: Survive school and go to the LC center at Eisenhower hospital for a follow up scan on my thyroid ( I will not blog about this - old news, no big deal at this point)

Exploration Opportunities: I didn't think about it. I have been going through a depressive state - but I intend to turn that around by getting back to this project.

Fieldwork report: Yesterday when I was at the hospital for the first part of my testing, I noticed the artwork hanging in the waiting room. One painting caught my eye, but in time I realized the entire room and surrounding hallways was covered with the artwork of this one particular woman. They had vibrant colors, bold strokes and simple designs - but not at all childish. The artist explored and played with the medium - painting over clumped up sections of paper or tissue, scratching away paint to reveal colors or text hidden underneath. It was fascinating and inspiring work. Turns out the artist: Deborah Wyndham, or something like that, is the wife of the chief of Radiology there at the hospital (or something like that).
I made notes about a couple of the pieces that are now buried in my purse somewhere (including the correct spelling of the artist's name) At this point in time I haven't found anything about her on the Internet.
I was inspired again. Not only is art still drawing my attention - but the desire again to participate. I have this painting I did of a blue pot that I have been afraid to do anything with for fear I'll ruin it. But now I think I'll use some of the ideas I got from the paintings I studied at the hospital. Instead of the plain background, I'll move forward with some bold strokes and then go with my original idea for flowers that are inspired more by Picasso than nature. My initial intention was to play with color on canvass - so this returns me to my original plan.
So even though I started the day with no intention on creative exploration - I did keep my eyes and imagination open, so creativity found me.
I'm ready for a comeback.

Lost

It's gone - Yippee!!!!
One pound - truely, finally gone!!!!!

Now I have lost more than one pound, but this has been that stubborn pound. That pound that has been blocking any further progress. The one I keep bouncing up from, but no more - it's gone -- I got under it!!!!!!

Others can fall off now until I hit that next plateau. But I have confidence now that I can beat each plateau as it comes. It's that first one that is the hardest! (for now)

Lost in Reality

OK, this blog started with the intent of being a journal of exploration and discovery for this year. I quickly became sidelined by my injury and dove to the depths of self absorbed dispare. I am now walking again, though not entirely painfree. Apparently there is some nerve connected to my knee, that runs up my thigh into my lower back that is very sensitive these days. Sitting, driving and walking for long distances or high speed, will trigger the nerve pain and remind me that I am limited by this body's weaknesses in this life.
Every time I am sick or injured, I lay in bed frustrated about all the things I want to get done but can't. However, when I'm well, I am slow to tackle tasks that seemed so imperative. I've decided this leg injury is an attempt to motivate me to actually do things. I am in enough pain to feel the frustration of limitation; however I have significant bouts of comfort where I can get up and do what should be done. And it is working, I'm actually accomplishing a few things around here. Not everything, but some things.
I am also at a crossroads in my life, which often brings on a flurry of list making, planning, notetaking, research and general agonizing over what decision to make.
I aluded to in in the previous post.
My principal has just announced to us that he will be the principal at the new middle school, opening next year. A great career move for him, but it leaves a hole in our lives as we worry over who our new principal may be.
I wasn't too worried or concerned about that, but whenever change occurs I always reflect on what changes I might make in my life. And in this case I began to reflect on some of my original dreams and desires. See, my original major in school was theater, and I have always thought my favorite job would be to be a theater teacher - and as video became a reality, I embraced that possibility.
My credential will allow me to teach English at the middle school level, which is the doorway to teaching theater. I haven't done this in the past because the reality is that theater takes extra time, and as the mother of a big family, I didn't want to take any more time away from home. But my life has changed now. Kids are grown and relatively self sufficient and gone (gone being really relative).
I have made alot of decisions in my life based on what would work best for my family. I'm a teacher because I can have summers and holidays off with my kids. I pursued my masters bacause it moved me over on the salary scale, benefiting our family budget. I live in the neighborhood I do because I wanted my kids to have access to the particular schools in this area.
But I have come to a point in my life where the family doesn't need my sacrifices anymore. I can start doing my own thing. This is kind of a heady feeling.
So I'm pursing the idea of making a move. I think ideally I would like to develop a video production program at the high school. That idea gets me giddy with excitement. I'm not in the right place with my credential to do that yet - but making a move to the middle school into the English/Drama area puts me in a better place. I need to take some classes, upgrade my credential and get some experience on my resume. I need to be more active in current theater and making some films on my own time. One interesting development is that it looks like I'll need to take some art classes. Apparently Video production requires a designated subjects credential, but media production requires an Art credential. The district isn't sure which exact title they are going to give the program at the new high school, so I have to be ready to go either way. (yes, I said new high school - we have both a middle and high school opening up next year - my final destination would be the high school, I'm using the middle school as a stepping stone).
I talked with Dan and he is very interested in the possibilities. His original major was theater too.
So - I started this year with the intention of exploring my creative self and in only two months time the world of possibilities is opening up. I received a blessing at one point during my knee injury recovery and in the blessing I was told that I would come to understand what I am to do with my life. At the time I was contemplating something entirely different, but it is interesting how it has worked out.
This year is going to be an interesting adventure.

Turned the Corner

Something happened at Physical Therapy last Friday. I think we found the trigger point. After all my exercises my therapist spends a little time massaging my knee and leg - it is more like torturing my knee. He finds a tender spot and does some deep tissue massaging to try to get the area to loosen up. I usually appreciate it a day or two later, but at the time it is painful.
He decided to work on the top of the knee on Friday. All other areas seem to have loosened up and have no tenderness, but the top area of the knee has been particularly tight. He has sharp pointy fingers and found a really delicate area to work on. The next morning I found some bruises I can now tease him about. But wonder of wonder, miracles or miracles - I can walk without pain. I can move like there is no injury at all.
Friday night was the first night in forever, I was able to sleep with no pain waking me up in the middle of the night. I was able to drive to take care of a few errands on Saturday.
By Saturday night I was a bit stiff and achy again, but not nearly as bad as before. I need to continue to rub down that area of my knee to keep it loosened up, but I think we are on to something.
This is my last week of therapy before I go see the Doctor again. If I can make significant progress this week, I can avoid surgery. After the results of this last session, I am quite hopeful!
Then I can return to destroying my journal and exploring the world. (I lost the journal, will need to find it again -- loosing the journal was an assignment for later in the year, too soon now)
Oh - I am also on the trail of a possible career change (sort of), I'll reveal details when things are firmed up a little bit.