Lost in Reality

OK, this blog started with the intent of being a journal of exploration and discovery for this year. I quickly became sidelined by my injury and dove to the depths of self absorbed dispare. I am now walking again, though not entirely painfree. Apparently there is some nerve connected to my knee, that runs up my thigh into my lower back that is very sensitive these days. Sitting, driving and walking for long distances or high speed, will trigger the nerve pain and remind me that I am limited by this body's weaknesses in this life.
Every time I am sick or injured, I lay in bed frustrated about all the things I want to get done but can't. However, when I'm well, I am slow to tackle tasks that seemed so imperative. I've decided this leg injury is an attempt to motivate me to actually do things. I am in enough pain to feel the frustration of limitation; however I have significant bouts of comfort where I can get up and do what should be done. And it is working, I'm actually accomplishing a few things around here. Not everything, but some things.
I am also at a crossroads in my life, which often brings on a flurry of list making, planning, notetaking, research and general agonizing over what decision to make.
I aluded to in in the previous post.
My principal has just announced to us that he will be the principal at the new middle school, opening next year. A great career move for him, but it leaves a hole in our lives as we worry over who our new principal may be.
I wasn't too worried or concerned about that, but whenever change occurs I always reflect on what changes I might make in my life. And in this case I began to reflect on some of my original dreams and desires. See, my original major in school was theater, and I have always thought my favorite job would be to be a theater teacher - and as video became a reality, I embraced that possibility.
My credential will allow me to teach English at the middle school level, which is the doorway to teaching theater. I haven't done this in the past because the reality is that theater takes extra time, and as the mother of a big family, I didn't want to take any more time away from home. But my life has changed now. Kids are grown and relatively self sufficient and gone (gone being really relative).
I have made alot of decisions in my life based on what would work best for my family. I'm a teacher because I can have summers and holidays off with my kids. I pursued my masters bacause it moved me over on the salary scale, benefiting our family budget. I live in the neighborhood I do because I wanted my kids to have access to the particular schools in this area.
But I have come to a point in my life where the family doesn't need my sacrifices anymore. I can start doing my own thing. This is kind of a heady feeling.
So I'm pursing the idea of making a move. I think ideally I would like to develop a video production program at the high school. That idea gets me giddy with excitement. I'm not in the right place with my credential to do that yet - but making a move to the middle school into the English/Drama area puts me in a better place. I need to take some classes, upgrade my credential and get some experience on my resume. I need to be more active in current theater and making some films on my own time. One interesting development is that it looks like I'll need to take some art classes. Apparently Video production requires a designated subjects credential, but media production requires an Art credential. The district isn't sure which exact title they are going to give the program at the new high school, so I have to be ready to go either way. (yes, I said new high school - we have both a middle and high school opening up next year - my final destination would be the high school, I'm using the middle school as a stepping stone).
I talked with Dan and he is very interested in the possibilities. His original major was theater too.
So - I started this year with the intention of exploring my creative self and in only two months time the world of possibilities is opening up. I received a blessing at one point during my knee injury recovery and in the blessing I was told that I would come to understand what I am to do with my life. At the time I was contemplating something entirely different, but it is interesting how it has worked out.
This year is going to be an interesting adventure.