It is confirmed, Ronni and I are going to Europe this summer. We will spend about 3 days in Paris, another somewhere in the French countryside, about 3 or so days in Switzerland, then on to Germany for about a week.
Kathy is going there to visit with her in-laws, so Loretta and Mom thought it would be fun to meet up with them over there. I heard about the trip and wanted to join in. I love travel, of course, but I really wanted Ronni to have the opportunity to go to France and hear the language spoken in its "natural" environment. I was thinking more like next summer, but since Loretta is planning a trip now, I'm happy to piggy back and use her freeby hotels and friends for lodging.
I was hoping to actually spend more time in Paris, but we can squeeze in the main attractions. We will spend a day in the Lourve, another day touring using the on/off tour busses (Loved those in Dublin and London). We plan to take sketch books and take pictures of ourselves drawing along the Seine and wherever.
I want to see if I can contact one of the wards or branches there ahead of time to see if there might be someone Ronni's age that can join us for a day or so. It would be so cool if she could get an LDS penpal in France. I hear that Anime is very popular there, so chances are good she can meet up with someone who has similar interests.
It has been ages since I have tried speaking French. I'll need to study up. Ronni will be our official interpreter.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
breaking free - not
weight: 117 (good - even when I ate a couple cupcakes)
treadmill: yes, being good this week, 30 minutes everyday in the morning.
creativity goal: gotta decorate a cake for a Relief Society Activity
Observations:
Nick wrote a comment about wanting to vent and speak his mind, but he worried about offending people. I responded to him that I too would like to be able to do that. I've considered starting a blog, but keeping my identity secret - so I could say some things on my mind that I am not sure I want everyone on my facebook or myspace friends lists to know about. What is the point of venting if you are not listened to. A hidden identity reminds me of that proverbial tree that falls deep in the forest. Who knows or cares?
I know I care to hear about other people's issues. I care deeply about the concerns and worries of my children. Even when I am the issue that is bothering them (I try to reign myself in)
I think knowing about the real person inside - the pain, the insecurities, the "issues", helps us to really know each other well.
But a blog is a very impersonal environment.
I'm reminded of PostSecrets where people send in their secrets on a post card, which is then posted on a website for all the world to read. Annonymous sharing of deepest feelings.
Secrets - some are not really any big deal to others, so why do we hord them and hide them and let them fester in us?
Is keeping a public happy face necessary for the smooth functioning of society?
I'm not talking about the constant whining - that is annoying and probably bad for mental health. Where can one go to share without being judged or "counseled" - sometimes I don't want it fixed, I just want others to understand what I'm dealing with.
Sometimes I need a hug. I don't get hugs - that is one of my secrets. The cat gets cuddled more than I do. Dr. Temple Grandin, an autistic person, created a hug machine for herself because she realized the value of deep tissue pressure to help calm and sooth the muscles and nerves. Being autistic, she is hyper sensitive to touch - but was able to get the therapy she realized she needed via the squeeze machine.
I have a pillow I hug at night, and that helps. Once, years ago, during a deep depression period of time, I hugged a large stuff toy. I was amazed at how calming and soothing that felt. It really made a big difference to wrap my arms around it and feel the soft pressure on my upper torso and face. I remember sharing the sensation at a weight watcher's meeting. The gal who was the leader suggested I might have trouble loosing weight if I have this lack of emotional support.
Once, a couple years ago, a young man from the singles ward that I have worked with in the past, took my hand - and instead of shaking it, as is our custom, lifted it up and kissed the back of it. I was overwhelmed with intense emotions. It felt so good! I was feeling like a 50 year old fool, swooning over a young man. That made me realize how intensely empty my emotional well was. The next time I met that young man, I had to make a point of avoiding getting too close. I know that confused him because he was always friendly -- one of those taught to hug friends. I so wanted a hug, but didn't dare trust my emotions.
My oldest son has been come a goodbye hugger - very unusual for him compared to his youth, but a nice development. I rarely get to see him.
My second son has always been a hugger of sorts - but I see him even less.
No one else here shows affection. If I try to initiate a hug, they tolerate it (if I can catch them).
The cat will want to cuddle - meaning I'm allowed to pet and rub her. But she doesn't want me to pick her up at all.
So I am not hugged, one painful secret - part of my secret picture.
Report - I felt good about the cake I decorated for our Relief Society birthday. It came out nice. Only one slice was taken though, so I got to bring it home. I put raspberries in the center filling (chocolate icing), yum - I love raspberries in chocolate. Though I think I wasted my time fussing over making the cake and worrying about getting it right. The other cakes were either store bought or in a sheet pan. I could have saved a lot of effort.
treadmill: yes, being good this week, 30 minutes everyday in the morning.
creativity goal: gotta decorate a cake for a Relief Society Activity
Observations:
Nick wrote a comment about wanting to vent and speak his mind, but he worried about offending people. I responded to him that I too would like to be able to do that. I've considered starting a blog, but keeping my identity secret - so I could say some things on my mind that I am not sure I want everyone on my facebook or myspace friends lists to know about. What is the point of venting if you are not listened to. A hidden identity reminds me of that proverbial tree that falls deep in the forest. Who knows or cares?
I know I care to hear about other people's issues. I care deeply about the concerns and worries of my children. Even when I am the issue that is bothering them (I try to reign myself in)
I think knowing about the real person inside - the pain, the insecurities, the "issues", helps us to really know each other well.
But a blog is a very impersonal environment.
I'm reminded of PostSecrets where people send in their secrets on a post card, which is then posted on a website for all the world to read. Annonymous sharing of deepest feelings.
Secrets - some are not really any big deal to others, so why do we hord them and hide them and let them fester in us?
Is keeping a public happy face necessary for the smooth functioning of society?
I'm not talking about the constant whining - that is annoying and probably bad for mental health. Where can one go to share without being judged or "counseled" - sometimes I don't want it fixed, I just want others to understand what I'm dealing with.
Sometimes I need a hug. I don't get hugs - that is one of my secrets. The cat gets cuddled more than I do. Dr. Temple Grandin, an autistic person, created a hug machine for herself because she realized the value of deep tissue pressure to help calm and sooth the muscles and nerves. Being autistic, she is hyper sensitive to touch - but was able to get the therapy she realized she needed via the squeeze machine.
I have a pillow I hug at night, and that helps. Once, years ago, during a deep depression period of time, I hugged a large stuff toy. I was amazed at how calming and soothing that felt. It really made a big difference to wrap my arms around it and feel the soft pressure on my upper torso and face. I remember sharing the sensation at a weight watcher's meeting. The gal who was the leader suggested I might have trouble loosing weight if I have this lack of emotional support.
Once, a couple years ago, a young man from the singles ward that I have worked with in the past, took my hand - and instead of shaking it, as is our custom, lifted it up and kissed the back of it. I was overwhelmed with intense emotions. It felt so good! I was feeling like a 50 year old fool, swooning over a young man. That made me realize how intensely empty my emotional well was. The next time I met that young man, I had to make a point of avoiding getting too close. I know that confused him because he was always friendly -- one of those taught to hug friends. I so wanted a hug, but didn't dare trust my emotions.
My oldest son has been come a goodbye hugger - very unusual for him compared to his youth, but a nice development. I rarely get to see him.
My second son has always been a hugger of sorts - but I see him even less.
No one else here shows affection. If I try to initiate a hug, they tolerate it (if I can catch them).
The cat will want to cuddle - meaning I'm allowed to pet and rub her. But she doesn't want me to pick her up at all.
So I am not hugged, one painful secret - part of my secret picture.
Report - I felt good about the cake I decorated for our Relief Society birthday. It came out nice. Only one slice was taken though, so I got to bring it home. I put raspberries in the center filling (chocolate icing), yum - I love raspberries in chocolate. Though I think I wasted my time fussing over making the cake and worrying about getting it right. The other cakes were either store bought or in a sheet pan. I could have saved a lot of effort.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Feeling all wet
weight: 218 (guess it wasn't a hormonal bump)
treadmill: yes - 30 minutes
Didn't set any specific goals for today, but did have an interview scheduled.
I took the whole week off. Slept in, didn't watch my eating, didn't get on the treadmill. Sometimes I just need to break away.
I've been mulling over some ideas and self explorations. I realize that I tend to quit on things just before I finish them. I wonder why. I do think I am concerned that I don't do things well, so maybe I quit so I can't fail. There is some logic in that. If it isn't done, it isn't a total failure - it's in progress still.
In my new calling I have been handed some "hurry up and take care of this" kind of responsibilities. My knee jerk reaction is to put off taking care of things. But I want to do well, I want to be successful at this. I'm pleased to say, that so far, I have jumped right in and haven't thought twice about making phone calls or contacting folks via e-mail. So far I am enjoying some success. But things are getting busy - I am concerned that I am going to get lost in alot of last minute "to does," such that I won't have the time to make some long term effective plans.
(warning - change in topic)
I don't think I'm a particulary successful blogger. I tend to ramble and vent. Though venting is a valid type of blog. I read others that tell creative narratives, or of exciting things happening in the lives of others....and I feel mine is blahhhh.
I need an outlet to express my ideas, as unstructured or random as they may be. I know I tend to be wordy - maybe a good blog dump will save my husband and children from having to listen to me ramble on.
(another topic change)I got to talk to a young mother on Sunday who I have been curious about for some time.
I won't share details of our conversation for fear that someone reading this might figure out who she is. I respect her privacy.
But she has gone through some difficult times in her life and still deals with the consequences of it all. She struggles for happiness and emotional survival. Now isn't that a vague enough statement to describe many of us? Don't we struggle for happiness and emotional stablility. Is it a woman thing that we feel guilt and less than acceptable? We tend to feel we always miss the mark. I'm not saying that the issues this woman is dealing with aren't truly overwhelming - they are. She is fighting a valiant fight against terrible odds.
I think back on all the fine women I have known who have been so encouraging for me. Those who call me talented, who brag to others about my great teaching skills, or my fantastic talks. Who claim to look forward to my lessons or comments. Who proclaim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when my daughter does something terrific. They build me, they encourage me, they feed my inner little girl who is only trying to please, but feels like I'm not worthy.
I crave those words where someone says "well done."
I know I need to say those words to others. There are many who are starving and sick with self doubt or overwhelming negatives.
We are vessels of living water/love. Some of us feel empty and need to be filled. Some are fortunate enough to be overflowing and able to share with others.
It is my thought that even those of us who feel like we have a hole in our buckets, can be generous and help fill the buckets of others. That maybe there will be a general splashing that in turn will refill ours. Living water/love is not finite. It increases with sharing.
For too long I have hoarded my water. I need to be more generous.
So maybe for the next month or so, my exploration of the world will involve some splashing.
treadmill: yes - 30 minutes
Didn't set any specific goals for today, but did have an interview scheduled.
I took the whole week off. Slept in, didn't watch my eating, didn't get on the treadmill. Sometimes I just need to break away.
I've been mulling over some ideas and self explorations. I realize that I tend to quit on things just before I finish them. I wonder why. I do think I am concerned that I don't do things well, so maybe I quit so I can't fail. There is some logic in that. If it isn't done, it isn't a total failure - it's in progress still.
In my new calling I have been handed some "hurry up and take care of this" kind of responsibilities. My knee jerk reaction is to put off taking care of things. But I want to do well, I want to be successful at this. I'm pleased to say, that so far, I have jumped right in and haven't thought twice about making phone calls or contacting folks via e-mail. So far I am enjoying some success. But things are getting busy - I am concerned that I am going to get lost in alot of last minute "to does," such that I won't have the time to make some long term effective plans.
(warning - change in topic)
I don't think I'm a particulary successful blogger. I tend to ramble and vent. Though venting is a valid type of blog. I read others that tell creative narratives, or of exciting things happening in the lives of others....and I feel mine is blahhhh.
I need an outlet to express my ideas, as unstructured or random as they may be. I know I tend to be wordy - maybe a good blog dump will save my husband and children from having to listen to me ramble on.
(another topic change)I got to talk to a young mother on Sunday who I have been curious about for some time.
I won't share details of our conversation for fear that someone reading this might figure out who she is. I respect her privacy.
But she has gone through some difficult times in her life and still deals with the consequences of it all. She struggles for happiness and emotional survival. Now isn't that a vague enough statement to describe many of us? Don't we struggle for happiness and emotional stablility. Is it a woman thing that we feel guilt and less than acceptable? We tend to feel we always miss the mark. I'm not saying that the issues this woman is dealing with aren't truly overwhelming - they are. She is fighting a valiant fight against terrible odds.
I think back on all the fine women I have known who have been so encouraging for me. Those who call me talented, who brag to others about my great teaching skills, or my fantastic talks. Who claim to look forward to my lessons or comments. Who proclaim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when my daughter does something terrific. They build me, they encourage me, they feed my inner little girl who is only trying to please, but feels like I'm not worthy.
I crave those words where someone says "well done."
I know I need to say those words to others. There are many who are starving and sick with self doubt or overwhelming negatives.
We are vessels of living water/love. Some of us feel empty and need to be filled. Some are fortunate enough to be overflowing and able to share with others.
It is my thought that even those of us who feel like we have a hole in our buckets, can be generous and help fill the buckets of others. That maybe there will be a general splashing that in turn will refill ours. Living water/love is not finite. It increases with sharing.
For too long I have hoarded my water. I need to be more generous.
So maybe for the next month or so, my exploration of the world will involve some splashing.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
weekend
I'm taking the day off, but found something to share. Sean wrote about this on his blog. It is exciting to see the church use the modern technology in this way, both Internet and Video:
Hope this inbeds properly
There are more - use the link on lds.org to go to Mormon Messages on YouTube.
(Sean insists I put the link to Mormon Messages directly. OK - but go ahead and check out the church website too)
Alright Sean. Do I get an A now?
Hope this inbeds properly
There are more - use the link on lds.org to go to Mormon Messages on YouTube.
(Sean insists I put the link to Mormon Messages directly. OK - but go ahead and check out the church website too)
Alright Sean. Do I get an A now?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Field days 12 and 13
day 12
weight: 118
treadmill: yes 30 minutes
day 13
weight: 118 (most be retaining water, still getting a hormonal flux I guess)
treadmill: no
Field report:
I'm rebelling.
I'm tired of getting up early and being on the treadmill. I'm tired of eating vegetables for breakfast. I'm tired of paperwork and clutter.
I'm also frustrated with health issues. I'm mad at my doctor for referering me to an endicrinologist (spelling wrong) that I've already seen and don't trust. He didn't know any better, but now I'll have to find someone else to see instead. (specialist, not reg. doctor = I'll have to train him to check with me first before calling in a referral)
On a more postive note: I got my report cards finished, I turned in some paperwork on time, my knee felt good today, I actually had a little more energy today (so take that treadmill!).
I plan to have fun at school tomorrow - time for more art.
I'll get over my health rebellion and take care of my self, but I needed a break.
Exploration --- I looked at the stars last night. It has been awhile. My friend Orion is in the sky. It was good to see him again (even if he did a look a little fuzzy through this bad eye). Isn't it amazing how people used to study the sky and learn so much. We are so busy this days we miss the awesome beauty and classroom of nature around us. We take way too much for granted.
weight: 118
treadmill: yes 30 minutes
day 13
weight: 118 (most be retaining water, still getting a hormonal flux I guess)
treadmill: no
Field report:
I'm rebelling.
I'm tired of getting up early and being on the treadmill. I'm tired of eating vegetables for breakfast. I'm tired of paperwork and clutter.
I'm also frustrated with health issues. I'm mad at my doctor for referering me to an endicrinologist (spelling wrong) that I've already seen and don't trust. He didn't know any better, but now I'll have to find someone else to see instead. (specialist, not reg. doctor = I'll have to train him to check with me first before calling in a referral)
On a more postive note: I got my report cards finished, I turned in some paperwork on time, my knee felt good today, I actually had a little more energy today (so take that treadmill!).
I plan to have fun at school tomorrow - time for more art.
I'll get over my health rebellion and take care of my self, but I needed a break.
Exploration --- I looked at the stars last night. It has been awhile. My friend Orion is in the sky. It was good to see him again (even if he did a look a little fuzzy through this bad eye). Isn't it amazing how people used to study the sky and learn so much. We are so busy this days we miss the awesome beauty and classroom of nature around us. We take way too much for granted.
Monday, March 2, 2009
fieldwork: day 11
weight: 216 - strange, after a fast Sunday
treadmill - yes, 30 minutes, bright and early this morning
significant chore - getting caught up on school paperwork, time to do grades
exploration goal: We are going to a play today. I'll see what I can garner from that.
Fieldreport: Wow, got up really early - but enjoyed it leisurely, so I wasn't really especially early to work.
The field trip was great - we saw the Dallas Children's Theater group do Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters. There were a few spots in the show that dragged, but all in all it was very good. I waa particulary intrigued by the dancing. There were alot of tribal, African style movements. The music was a mix of reggie and tribal sounds. Though as I thought about it, reggie comes from the Carribean, where many African Slaves were brought centuries ago. I also got a sense of New Orleans - which would also be influenced by the African heritage. The movements were fluid and beautiful. The other day in the newspaper I saw a picture of a black man dancing, and the caption mentioned some special style of street dancing. I wonder if it relates at all to some of the movements I saw on stage today?
The set was well used. There were some large stage pieces that at times were trees, walls of the hut, or walls of the king's palace. The lighting affects were simple, yet effective. The show was done with a total of 7 performers. Some played multiple parts and it worked quite well.
The audience was quite caught up in the drumming, many times joining with clapping the beat. At the end many of the students got up and joined in the swaying, arm reaching dancing. I was fun to see.
I am still behind on getting my paperwork caught up, but I think I'll meet the report card deadline. I found a couple of kids who are missing some math tests. I thought I had done a better job of getting their papers into the make up basket.
My Doctor called today. My blood and lab work came back. He wants to refer me to an endocrynologist (spelling?). I am so annoyed with that idea. I don't want to behaving any issues that require anything drastic. I want to be healthy and accomplish my goals. But when it comes to my health, sometimes I over worry - so maybe it isn't soo bad.
treadmill - yes, 30 minutes, bright and early this morning
significant chore - getting caught up on school paperwork, time to do grades
exploration goal: We are going to a play today. I'll see what I can garner from that.
Fieldreport: Wow, got up really early - but enjoyed it leisurely, so I wasn't really especially early to work.
The field trip was great - we saw the Dallas Children's Theater group do Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters. There were a few spots in the show that dragged, but all in all it was very good. I waa particulary intrigued by the dancing. There were alot of tribal, African style movements. The music was a mix of reggie and tribal sounds. Though as I thought about it, reggie comes from the Carribean, where many African Slaves were brought centuries ago. I also got a sense of New Orleans - which would also be influenced by the African heritage. The movements were fluid and beautiful. The other day in the newspaper I saw a picture of a black man dancing, and the caption mentioned some special style of street dancing. I wonder if it relates at all to some of the movements I saw on stage today?
The set was well used. There were some large stage pieces that at times were trees, walls of the hut, or walls of the king's palace. The lighting affects were simple, yet effective. The show was done with a total of 7 performers. Some played multiple parts and it worked quite well.
The audience was quite caught up in the drumming, many times joining with clapping the beat. At the end many of the students got up and joined in the swaying, arm reaching dancing. I was fun to see.
I am still behind on getting my paperwork caught up, but I think I'll meet the report card deadline. I found a couple of kids who are missing some math tests. I thought I had done a better job of getting their papers into the make up basket.
My Doctor called today. My blood and lab work came back. He wants to refer me to an endocrynologist (spelling?). I am so annoyed with that idea. I don't want to behaving any issues that require anything drastic. I want to be healthy and accomplish my goals. But when it comes to my health, sometimes I over worry - so maybe it isn't soo bad.
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