The end and the beginning

Wow - this has been a rollercoaster year.
I started this blog with the hope of opening up my creative side - and surprisingly, it worked.

Reflection -
I do feel like I have grown this year. I didn't finish the exploration nor journal destruction project, but I got moving in the right direction. I began the year feeling I was uncreative, or at least very stifled. I now recognize that creativity exists in each and every one of us. It just needs a venue to be expressed. It is ok to experiment with venues, it is ok to mimic others in the learning process. It's ok to try something new. It's ok to mess up as long as you don't quit trying. It's ok to decide, after trying, that a certain venue is not for you.
I found many wonderful people who were willing to share their creative spark in my journey.

The physical side of me was challenged this year. First the knee injury, then the discovery that I had diabetes. Physical Therapy side lined me for a little while, but got me moving in a better direction (no pun intented - helped me avoid surgery). Just as I completed the diabetes training and was getting that situation under control (weight loss and exercise - I was able to avoid medications), I was slammed again with the "C" word at my annual check up (supposed to be annual - I confess, it had been awhile). Biopsy and anxious waiting took me through my father's illness and death, to finally learn that the cells were benign. I did have a surgical proceedure designed to clean me up a bit - forced me to take a couple weeks off school in the process, but there are no immediate threats to my life now. I will be having another surgery this summer, but no imenent dangers or worries right now. Oh yeah - in the spirit of following up on long neglected health issues - I have an endocrinologist looking at my thyroid again. He is of the same opinion as the other - time to swallow the radioactive idodine and to onto perpetual medication. I'm not looking forward to this, but don't feel it is something I can put off any more.

The emotional me hit some difficult times, as you can imagine. My father's death was conflicting for me. There are unresolved issues, issues that can never be resolved no matter if he survived - but we were able to visit him one last time in a positive way. I don't think I got to grieve properly because I had concurrent health concerns of my own distracting me. I do occasionally break down in tears (like right now as I write this), but I suppose it is normal and will subside in time. My stepfather's death doesn't cause me to cry any more (at least not in quite a long time).

There were some big positives for this year - I began some serious weight loss, I got to travel to Europe with my daughter, we had a terrific end of the year Christmas get together with my family - and all my children were able to be there (2 surprising me in the process). I end the year energized, eager to work on some new projects, making more changes in a forward direction.
Where I had started the year feeling sluggish and bored, I now feel eager and bursting with ideas. I'm surprised by how one's emotional state can affect one's physical energy level.
My first project for the year - setting up my workroom. Actually, I've already started, so maybe it's the last project of the year.
I'm no longer waiting for my sons to move out (one keeps coming back), I've rented a storage space and am making room for me. With my son's help I put up one of the first wall cabinets today. I have two more to go. I have a work table set up and my sewing machine plugged in. I need to organize it (and finish getting Nick moved out), but it is happening.
How come the process of organizing is messier than the original mess was???
I really don't want to go back to work next week, I've got too much I want to get done! How long till I can retire?