aha- none today
regret- none today
accomplishments- I got up early, went to school and took care of what needed to be done to get through the day. I didn't have to go in over the holiday to work in my classroom. Maybe this should be my aha!
I did come home and take care of a couple little tasks - in the continuing saga of getting my home cleaned up and organized. I also got a fleece blanket tied off for Project Linus during Family Home Evening -- so I can be pleased with the use of my time today.
I guess I also got some classroom organizing done this afternoon while waiting for parents to show up for conferences.
Little steps each day get the journal taken.... that is my own saying.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thanksgiving
This week's aha - I am capable of getting this house looking decent. (see accomplishment below). For the longest time I felt I was just inadequate in this area - but I'm realizing I've been held back by factors outside of me. If I push past those factors, I can do it. I also learned I need to plan in resting time. My body gets sick if I push it beyond what it is supposed to do. Not a fun lesson to learn.
This week's regret- not really a regret - but I didn't go into my classroom at all this week of vacation, so I'll be in a crunch tomorrow morning to get things done. I have parent teacher conferences to get ready for, a homework packet to put together and newsletter to print. It'll be a minimum day, and I have recess duty - so it'll be an early morning for me.
This week's accomplishment - I got a big chunk of house cleaning and decorating done. Actually it took me two holiday weekends to do it in - but I got the hallway painted (finished), I got a dumpster full of stuff from the garage hauled off (not the whole garage cleaned, but now there is room for the truck to park in there), took 2 loads of stuff in the truck to the thrift store trailer, had repair guys come can take care of a couple things, got my kitchen cabinet tops clean off of junk (including 2 inch thick dust) and then decorated the area, moved the computer out of the living room into it's own space elsewhere and then rearranged the living room so it now looks livable, and got Ronni's room clean out and decorated.
I'm on a count down to get this house in tip top shape for Christmas 2011 when I host my extended family here. I want to replace flooring and finish painting the rest of the house (and declutter/decorate). I know I'm starting early - but one of the factors that slows me down is my husband freaking out over my spending money on the house. I have to start early so I can spread it out comfortably for him. He got rather nervous over this last couple weeks. I'll have to be a little gentler on him.
This week's regret- not really a regret - but I didn't go into my classroom at all this week of vacation, so I'll be in a crunch tomorrow morning to get things done. I have parent teacher conferences to get ready for, a homework packet to put together and newsletter to print. It'll be a minimum day, and I have recess duty - so it'll be an early morning for me.
This week's accomplishment - I got a big chunk of house cleaning and decorating done. Actually it took me two holiday weekends to do it in - but I got the hallway painted (finished), I got a dumpster full of stuff from the garage hauled off (not the whole garage cleaned, but now there is room for the truck to park in there), took 2 loads of stuff in the truck to the thrift store trailer, had repair guys come can take care of a couple things, got my kitchen cabinet tops clean off of junk (including 2 inch thick dust) and then decorated the area, moved the computer out of the living room into it's own space elsewhere and then rearranged the living room so it now looks livable, and got Ronni's room clean out and decorated.
I'm on a count down to get this house in tip top shape for Christmas 2011 when I host my extended family here. I want to replace flooring and finish painting the rest of the house (and declutter/decorate). I know I'm starting early - but one of the factors that slows me down is my husband freaking out over my spending money on the house. I have to start early so I can spread it out comfortably for him. He got rather nervous over this last couple weeks. I'll have to be a little gentler on him.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I created a bit of a form yesterday which helps in writing today.
Today's accomplishment - I did not bring any school work home today, which means I actually got some little chores done around the house. I am working on finding a place for everything and putting stuff in it's place (or getting rid of it). It is a big chore for this house, and I won't say what I did to day is exceptionally noticeable - but it is progress. Also - I did a mile on the treadmill. :D
Today's Aha- My computer will fit on my treadmill so I can use it while I'm walking. It does take a long time to boot up however, so I'll have to work out the best way to utilize it.
Today's regret- I don't think the Reason for the Season plaques are quite as well made as I had hoped. The orange paint is very poorly. The pins aren't staying stuck to the plaque very well - though some of them are holding just fine. Oh well, it is the first time. I'll keep my eyes open this year for upgraded materials to improve them next year.
The last couple days in class have been much better - it is a chore though to keep these kids in line. I need to also work on keeping my high school working productively. She means to do well, but we do have some down times. She is a bit loud, but so am I - however, I find her a bit distracting sometimes.
We are watching the origianl version of the Italian Job - Michael Cane is in it. It is quite fun.
Today's accomplishment - I did not bring any school work home today, which means I actually got some little chores done around the house. I am working on finding a place for everything and putting stuff in it's place (or getting rid of it). It is a big chore for this house, and I won't say what I did to day is exceptionally noticeable - but it is progress. Also - I did a mile on the treadmill. :D
Today's Aha- My computer will fit on my treadmill so I can use it while I'm walking. It does take a long time to boot up however, so I'll have to work out the best way to utilize it.
Today's regret- I don't think the Reason for the Season plaques are quite as well made as I had hoped. The orange paint is very poorly. The pins aren't staying stuck to the plaque very well - though some of them are holding just fine. Oh well, it is the first time. I'll keep my eyes open this year for upgraded materials to improve them next year.
The last couple days in class have been much better - it is a chore though to keep these kids in line. I need to also work on keeping my high school working productively. She means to do well, but we do have some down times. She is a bit loud, but so am I - however, I find her a bit distracting sometimes.
We are watching the origianl version of the Italian Job - Michael Cane is in it. It is quite fun.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Form follows function
So much for daily writing. I really need a routine or formula so I will have something to get me started.
Today's Ahas - I'm not the only teacher having a rough year this year. Though actually I knew that, but it is nice to be reminded. It's not just me.
Today's regret - I have been hard on the class in order to get them under control. Some of the kids are really sweet and deserve better. (some need to be strung up by their thumbs I regret not being harder on those guys and gals).
Today's accomplishment - I took a babystep in being a little better organized in class. I also got some stuff done just in time. I finished a craft project. Actually it is one I'm rather proud of cause I came up with the idea all on my little own...... (the embarrasing side is that the idea flashed into my mind just before taking the sacrament at church. You'll see the conflict of interest...) It is a little orange plaque with the wording; The Reason for the Season. Below are 3 mini black clothespin clips holding small pieces of Halloween candy. I also decorated the plaque with black squiggles and a spider w/web in the corner. (there are also a couple little orange and black jewels on it.) I love it's quirky reference to the Christmas saying. It is designed to be a broach - though it is a little large.
The clothes pins are a little unstable and I'm not totally happy with the wood and paint I used. I will have to keep my eye out for other supplies to improve the design for next year. I wanted clips so that the candy can be eaten and then replaced next year for rewearing. I made one for each 1st grade teacher, so I will give it to them probably tomorrow. I am rather pleased with coming up with the idea on my own. So many times I see terrific cute ideas and wonder why I couldn't come up with it. (brainstorm - I could use miniature library clips/ clamps or whatever they are called. They could be attached by rings to the plaque. I'll have to play with that. I wonder if there is a Jewelry frame I could use instead of the wooden plaque. Something metal looking would be terrific. I'll keep thinking on it.
Today's Ahas - I'm not the only teacher having a rough year this year. Though actually I knew that, but it is nice to be reminded. It's not just me.
Today's regret - I have been hard on the class in order to get them under control. Some of the kids are really sweet and deserve better. (some need to be strung up by their thumbs I regret not being harder on those guys and gals).
Today's accomplishment - I took a babystep in being a little better organized in class. I also got some stuff done just in time. I finished a craft project. Actually it is one I'm rather proud of cause I came up with the idea all on my little own...... (the embarrasing side is that the idea flashed into my mind just before taking the sacrament at church. You'll see the conflict of interest...) It is a little orange plaque with the wording; The Reason for the Season. Below are 3 mini black clothespin clips holding small pieces of Halloween candy. I also decorated the plaque with black squiggles and a spider w/web in the corner. (there are also a couple little orange and black jewels on it.) I love it's quirky reference to the Christmas saying. It is designed to be a broach - though it is a little large.
The clothes pins are a little unstable and I'm not totally happy with the wood and paint I used. I will have to keep my eye out for other supplies to improve the design for next year. I wanted clips so that the candy can be eaten and then replaced next year for rewearing. I made one for each 1st grade teacher, so I will give it to them probably tomorrow. I am rather pleased with coming up with the idea on my own. So many times I see terrific cute ideas and wonder why I couldn't come up with it. (brainstorm - I could use miniature library clips/ clamps or whatever they are called. They could be attached by rings to the plaque. I'll have to play with that. I wonder if there is a Jewelry frame I could use instead of the wooden plaque. Something metal looking would be terrific. I'll keep thinking on it.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Time Flies....
My daughter was telling me about a story she heard in Seminary Class (or was it English class??). Apparently someone had done a study on Nuns and dementia. They specifically wanted to learn what affect journal writing had on these ladies. Turns out the ones who religiously wrote in their journals daily had a better mental capacity as they aged then the ones who skipped out on this chore. Most profoundly there was one nun who actually developed Alzheimer's disease, but because she kept her brain active, the brain developed alternate pathways to circumvent the diseased section. All this was learned after her death and autopsy. She appeared to all who observed her in life to lead a normal nun's life - the disease was not apparent. Here - found a link with information.
Interesting.
A motivating reason to be writing daily.
I found the Exploration activity quite invigorating -though short lived. I feel like I made some real positive changes in my life in the right direction, in spite of the challenges I faced.
I am now experiencing some new challenges which journal therapy might help me through again. I think I'll probably stream of conscience write for a little while until I hit upon the format to work with. I really liked the "reporting" I did in the Exploration set.
Let's start with an update.
Surgery this summer was somewhat dramatic. I went in the week after school ended. Had surgery, seemed to get through it ok when - wham, hit with a massive infection. Apparently the diabetes was uncontrolled so my body wasn't fighting the infection - no fever, no high white blood count.... so at first we didn't realize how bad off I was. But 2 emergency room visits and I was back in the hospital on IV antibiotics for 5 days. I endured a rather painful proceedure to drain the infection, but in the end all went well. I was on bedrest and light activity for the entire summer. Got a lot of reading done, finished the tatted snowflakes I was making for my Christmas cards, some other needlework projects - was actually kind of nice, but I didn't get away which I like to do during my vacation. Oh well....
I was cleared by the doctor the day before school started..... so much for my vacation.
This is now a challenging school year. More kids, More kids with issues (ADHD, English language learners, home issues affecting school, etc....) This is a really stressful class!
I find I am "shutting down." There are times I just freeze up and can't do anything productive. (Fortunately, not at school). I get to the end of my day and can't focus on what I need to do to prepare. I get home and can't figure out what to do next. I have simple items I need to do that I put off for no good reason. I feel overwhelmed.
This has happened before, and I find the best way out of it is to make a to do list and just work my way out of it. And give myself doses of rest.
Today I took care of a couple of those simple things that had been sitting in the que that I have avoided doing for no apparent reason. It felt good to get those off my plate.
I looked at the calendar and realize I have some holiday time coming up that will be days off of school, that should help too. I have taken some of my to do items and moved them to vacation or after holiday time because they do not have an immediate deadline.
My biggest problem is I generate a pretty large "I want to do" list where my "Have to do" list really is suppose to get priority. But if I don't do some of the want to do stuff, I will fall back into the zombie stage I was in before.
I wonder if some of my want to do stuff is compulsive behavior?
There has been a number of articles and references lately to hording as addictive behavior. I am a horder, though I have been getting much better. I am cleaning out closets and giving stuff away. I am looking at some of the stuff I bought for my classroom and practically assesing whether I will actually use them or not.
But when I want to do a project, sometimes I am quite compulsive about it. I get whims and fancies and buy up supplies, equipment and materials to do it -- but don't have the time.
I treat some things like a new obsessive hobby, when it really is only a whim.
Sometimes though I think I hold myself back. I don't make time or effort to do things -- maybe I'm afraid of failure or strangly afraid of accomplishment. Why would I do that?
Sometimes there are things I know I can do, but I won't do them because I feel like people will judge me or not appreciate me. But sometimes these are things that aren't being done for others - so why would I care? But I do... why? Why can't I just do them for the satisfaction of doing them for me?
But other times, I do just fine. I do things for my enjoyment and I do things as gifts for others that are appreciated. I guess it is a process. I think I'm getting better. I think I have emotional needs that are not being met, but I'm working around them.
I am a survivor. I know I am good at that.
Journal therapy begins again...
Interesting.
A motivating reason to be writing daily.
I found the Exploration activity quite invigorating -though short lived. I feel like I made some real positive changes in my life in the right direction, in spite of the challenges I faced.
I am now experiencing some new challenges which journal therapy might help me through again. I think I'll probably stream of conscience write for a little while until I hit upon the format to work with. I really liked the "reporting" I did in the Exploration set.
Let's start with an update.
Surgery this summer was somewhat dramatic. I went in the week after school ended. Had surgery, seemed to get through it ok when - wham, hit with a massive infection. Apparently the diabetes was uncontrolled so my body wasn't fighting the infection - no fever, no high white blood count.... so at first we didn't realize how bad off I was. But 2 emergency room visits and I was back in the hospital on IV antibiotics for 5 days. I endured a rather painful proceedure to drain the infection, but in the end all went well. I was on bedrest and light activity for the entire summer. Got a lot of reading done, finished the tatted snowflakes I was making for my Christmas cards, some other needlework projects - was actually kind of nice, but I didn't get away which I like to do during my vacation. Oh well....
I was cleared by the doctor the day before school started..... so much for my vacation.
This is now a challenging school year. More kids, More kids with issues (ADHD, English language learners, home issues affecting school, etc....) This is a really stressful class!
I find I am "shutting down." There are times I just freeze up and can't do anything productive. (Fortunately, not at school). I get to the end of my day and can't focus on what I need to do to prepare. I get home and can't figure out what to do next. I have simple items I need to do that I put off for no good reason. I feel overwhelmed.
This has happened before, and I find the best way out of it is to make a to do list and just work my way out of it. And give myself doses of rest.
Today I took care of a couple of those simple things that had been sitting in the que that I have avoided doing for no apparent reason. It felt good to get those off my plate.
I looked at the calendar and realize I have some holiday time coming up that will be days off of school, that should help too. I have taken some of my to do items and moved them to vacation or after holiday time because they do not have an immediate deadline.
My biggest problem is I generate a pretty large "I want to do" list where my "Have to do" list really is suppose to get priority. But if I don't do some of the want to do stuff, I will fall back into the zombie stage I was in before.
I wonder if some of my want to do stuff is compulsive behavior?
There has been a number of articles and references lately to hording as addictive behavior. I am a horder, though I have been getting much better. I am cleaning out closets and giving stuff away. I am looking at some of the stuff I bought for my classroom and practically assesing whether I will actually use them or not.
But when I want to do a project, sometimes I am quite compulsive about it. I get whims and fancies and buy up supplies, equipment and materials to do it -- but don't have the time.
I treat some things like a new obsessive hobby, when it really is only a whim.
Sometimes though I think I hold myself back. I don't make time or effort to do things -- maybe I'm afraid of failure or strangly afraid of accomplishment. Why would I do that?
Sometimes there are things I know I can do, but I won't do them because I feel like people will judge me or not appreciate me. But sometimes these are things that aren't being done for others - so why would I care? But I do... why? Why can't I just do them for the satisfaction of doing them for me?
But other times, I do just fine. I do things for my enjoyment and I do things as gifts for others that are appreciated. I guess it is a process. I think I'm getting better. I think I have emotional needs that are not being met, but I'm working around them.
I am a survivor. I know I am good at that.
Journal therapy begins again...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The end and the beginning
Wow - this has been a rollercoaster year.
I started this blog with the hope of opening up my creative side - and surprisingly, it worked.
Reflection -
I do feel like I have grown this year. I didn't finish the exploration nor journal destruction project, but I got moving in the right direction. I began the year feeling I was uncreative, or at least very stifled. I now recognize that creativity exists in each and every one of us. It just needs a venue to be expressed. It is ok to experiment with venues, it is ok to mimic others in the learning process. It's ok to try something new. It's ok to mess up as long as you don't quit trying. It's ok to decide, after trying, that a certain venue is not for you.
I found many wonderful people who were willing to share their creative spark in my journey.
The physical side of me was challenged this year. First the knee injury, then the discovery that I had diabetes. Physical Therapy side lined me for a little while, but got me moving in a better direction (no pun intented - helped me avoid surgery). Just as I completed the diabetes training and was getting that situation under control (weight loss and exercise - I was able to avoid medications), I was slammed again with the "C" word at my annual check up (supposed to be annual - I confess, it had been awhile). Biopsy and anxious waiting took me through my father's illness and death, to finally learn that the cells were benign. I did have a surgical proceedure designed to clean me up a bit - forced me to take a couple weeks off school in the process, but there are no immediate threats to my life now. I will be having another surgery this summer, but no imenent dangers or worries right now. Oh yeah - in the spirit of following up on long neglected health issues - I have an endocrinologist looking at my thyroid again. He is of the same opinion as the other - time to swallow the radioactive idodine and to onto perpetual medication. I'm not looking forward to this, but don't feel it is something I can put off any more.
The emotional me hit some difficult times, as you can imagine. My father's death was conflicting for me. There are unresolved issues, issues that can never be resolved no matter if he survived - but we were able to visit him one last time in a positive way. I don't think I got to grieve properly because I had concurrent health concerns of my own distracting me. I do occasionally break down in tears (like right now as I write this), but I suppose it is normal and will subside in time. My stepfather's death doesn't cause me to cry any more (at least not in quite a long time).
There were some big positives for this year - I began some serious weight loss, I got to travel to Europe with my daughter, we had a terrific end of the year Christmas get together with my family - and all my children were able to be there (2 surprising me in the process). I end the year energized, eager to work on some new projects, making more changes in a forward direction.
Where I had started the year feeling sluggish and bored, I now feel eager and bursting with ideas. I'm surprised by how one's emotional state can affect one's physical energy level.
My first project for the year - setting up my workroom. Actually, I've already started, so maybe it's the last project of the year.
I'm no longer waiting for my sons to move out (one keeps coming back), I've rented a storage space and am making room for me. With my son's help I put up one of the first wall cabinets today. I have two more to go. I have a work table set up and my sewing machine plugged in. I need to organize it (and finish getting Nick moved out), but it is happening.
How come the process of organizing is messier than the original mess was???
I really don't want to go back to work next week, I've got too much I want to get done! How long till I can retire?
I started this blog with the hope of opening up my creative side - and surprisingly, it worked.
Reflection -
I do feel like I have grown this year. I didn't finish the exploration nor journal destruction project, but I got moving in the right direction. I began the year feeling I was uncreative, or at least very stifled. I now recognize that creativity exists in each and every one of us. It just needs a venue to be expressed. It is ok to experiment with venues, it is ok to mimic others in the learning process. It's ok to try something new. It's ok to mess up as long as you don't quit trying. It's ok to decide, after trying, that a certain venue is not for you.
I found many wonderful people who were willing to share their creative spark in my journey.
The physical side of me was challenged this year. First the knee injury, then the discovery that I had diabetes. Physical Therapy side lined me for a little while, but got me moving in a better direction (no pun intented - helped me avoid surgery). Just as I completed the diabetes training and was getting that situation under control (weight loss and exercise - I was able to avoid medications), I was slammed again with the "C" word at my annual check up (supposed to be annual - I confess, it had been awhile). Biopsy and anxious waiting took me through my father's illness and death, to finally learn that the cells were benign. I did have a surgical proceedure designed to clean me up a bit - forced me to take a couple weeks off school in the process, but there are no immediate threats to my life now. I will be having another surgery this summer, but no imenent dangers or worries right now. Oh yeah - in the spirit of following up on long neglected health issues - I have an endocrinologist looking at my thyroid again. He is of the same opinion as the other - time to swallow the radioactive idodine and to onto perpetual medication. I'm not looking forward to this, but don't feel it is something I can put off any more.
The emotional me hit some difficult times, as you can imagine. My father's death was conflicting for me. There are unresolved issues, issues that can never be resolved no matter if he survived - but we were able to visit him one last time in a positive way. I don't think I got to grieve properly because I had concurrent health concerns of my own distracting me. I do occasionally break down in tears (like right now as I write this), but I suppose it is normal and will subside in time. My stepfather's death doesn't cause me to cry any more (at least not in quite a long time).
There were some big positives for this year - I began some serious weight loss, I got to travel to Europe with my daughter, we had a terrific end of the year Christmas get together with my family - and all my children were able to be there (2 surprising me in the process). I end the year energized, eager to work on some new projects, making more changes in a forward direction.
Where I had started the year feeling sluggish and bored, I now feel eager and bursting with ideas. I'm surprised by how one's emotional state can affect one's physical energy level.
My first project for the year - setting up my workroom. Actually, I've already started, so maybe it's the last project of the year.
I'm no longer waiting for my sons to move out (one keeps coming back), I've rented a storage space and am making room for me. With my son's help I put up one of the first wall cabinets today. I have two more to go. I have a work table set up and my sewing machine plugged in. I need to organize it (and finish getting Nick moved out), but it is happening.
How come the process of organizing is messier than the original mess was???
I really don't want to go back to work next week, I've got too much I want to get done! How long till I can retire?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Happy New (school) Year
A lot has happened since May.
I'm not posting my weight, not because it hasn't changed, but rather because it is making dramatic changes and I want to surprise family at holiday time. (more explaination below)
I've tested out a couple different venues, and am beginning to find my own path (though I'm keeping an open mind on possibilities).
My foray into administration was not successful, and I discover that I am not really ambitious to pursue that road anyway. So I'm still in the classroom this year - so far I'm slated to teach a 1/2 combination, but we will see what happens the first day of school. Kids are still enrolling.
I have not yet stepped into the theater relm, though we are going to see more productions now. I was kind of waiting to see where I landed for this school year before getting involved with any particular production group. I'm keeping that option open for now.
My health as been a major focus for this summer. After returning from Europe, I went to Eisenhower Medical Center for their diabetes training. Did the job of scaring me good and getting me on track. I was given a 1200 calorie diet to get my weight down - which caused me a weekend of raging, but I got my act together and have been good about watching what I eat. I also learned about carb levels, balancing them with protein - and how to make my meals effective. I now have my blood sugar under control and the weight it coming off quite satisfactorily. I can even indulge in goodies now and then (like chocolate cake tonite :D - and my blood sugar level is still in the ok range). I have more energy now and the other day I noticed I can do a couple things more comfortably then I had in the past. I still have a long ways to go, but I'm noticing the difference. The scale is giving me great news - numbers I haven't seen in years.
I am even discovering that I have it in me to be a clothes horse. I'm making notes on outfits I want to make and designs I want to work on. I'm discovering a hidden interest. (more on interests later)
I have had a minor surgery on my foot and had the other eye cataract removed. All of which have had me on a health care regime of medicines and self care practices so I've had to stay focused on taking care of myself. I've been spending a lot of time on me this summer - kind of different, and refreshing.
I've been thinking alot about what it is that I am really interested in. As I explore what personal directions I'd like to go in my life, I find that I like too many things. I can easily get interested in just about any activity or hobby other people have, and there just isn't time to pursue them all. There isn't even time to pursue all the things I am personally interested in. I find that I need to sort out what is really my individual interests and what is just a passing fancy. Like painting. I thought I was really interested in learning to paint. I have some ideas in mind for some great paintings I'd like to do. But I have canvass, brushes and paints - and I'm not painting. I've dabbled in a few things, but have not really gotten into it. Partly because I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I need to take a class to get this thing going? Or maybe this is an area that isn't really me. I like art, I appreciate art - but maybe it isn't me to create art. (I'll still plan on taking a class to explore this area though)
And film. I have enjoyed making some films in the past, but now that I have a decent video camera of my own and software on my computer - I'm not doing anything with it. I watch Nick in his production work and think that is the kind of thing I ought to be doing.... but I'm not. I find right now that I need to push myself into doing it. So does that mean it isn't a real interest of mine. Maybe (I'm not getting rid of the camera, I'm still considering opportunties to make films that will suit my purposes)
I wonder if I am a chameleon. I adapt and mimic those around me, without knowing what is really me. I've been thinking about what kinds of things I have been interested in that I have not seen others around me do. Like my lacemaking and historical skills (weaving, spinning, etc...) Those I pursued on my own, but have had to put aside because of time constraints of raising a family and working full time. (or were those excuses?)
I've picked up the tatting again and materials for other lacemaking. I need to make time for these things in my life, so am finding venues for expressing them.
I guess that is really the key to determining my real interests, finding the way to express them for myself.
Which actually fullfills part of what this blog was originally about - developing my creative side.
What I am trying to do now as I come across various tasks, is to ask myself -- how can I do this using my other interests, talents or skills -- how can I make this a way to express myself.
I'm rearranging the furniture in my classroom. Trying to set it up more efficiently. Trying to cull the junk and use the storage more effectively. One of my projects is bulletin boards. I decided that instead of punching letters out of construction paper, or printing signs off the computer, I will try making some of the labels more interesting. I picked up some perky scrapbook papers and will try using those for some of the letters. I'll need to back them with black construction paper and laminate them so they will last. Maybe I'll get carried away and use some of the scrapbook paper to make the kids' name tags too........ this could get interesting. I'm also thinking of a film to make for math class. Do I have time to put together a film for back to school night???? (an animation????)
This could be a really fun year. :D
I'm not posting my weight, not because it hasn't changed, but rather because it is making dramatic changes and I want to surprise family at holiday time. (more explaination below)
I've tested out a couple different venues, and am beginning to find my own path (though I'm keeping an open mind on possibilities).
My foray into administration was not successful, and I discover that I am not really ambitious to pursue that road anyway. So I'm still in the classroom this year - so far I'm slated to teach a 1/2 combination, but we will see what happens the first day of school. Kids are still enrolling.
I have not yet stepped into the theater relm, though we are going to see more productions now. I was kind of waiting to see where I landed for this school year before getting involved with any particular production group. I'm keeping that option open for now.
My health as been a major focus for this summer. After returning from Europe, I went to Eisenhower Medical Center for their diabetes training. Did the job of scaring me good and getting me on track. I was given a 1200 calorie diet to get my weight down - which caused me a weekend of raging, but I got my act together and have been good about watching what I eat. I also learned about carb levels, balancing them with protein - and how to make my meals effective. I now have my blood sugar under control and the weight it coming off quite satisfactorily. I can even indulge in goodies now and then (like chocolate cake tonite :D - and my blood sugar level is still in the ok range). I have more energy now and the other day I noticed I can do a couple things more comfortably then I had in the past. I still have a long ways to go, but I'm noticing the difference. The scale is giving me great news - numbers I haven't seen in years.
I am even discovering that I have it in me to be a clothes horse. I'm making notes on outfits I want to make and designs I want to work on. I'm discovering a hidden interest. (more on interests later)
I have had a minor surgery on my foot and had the other eye cataract removed. All of which have had me on a health care regime of medicines and self care practices so I've had to stay focused on taking care of myself. I've been spending a lot of time on me this summer - kind of different, and refreshing.
I've been thinking alot about what it is that I am really interested in. As I explore what personal directions I'd like to go in my life, I find that I like too many things. I can easily get interested in just about any activity or hobby other people have, and there just isn't time to pursue them all. There isn't even time to pursue all the things I am personally interested in. I find that I need to sort out what is really my individual interests and what is just a passing fancy. Like painting. I thought I was really interested in learning to paint. I have some ideas in mind for some great paintings I'd like to do. But I have canvass, brushes and paints - and I'm not painting. I've dabbled in a few things, but have not really gotten into it. Partly because I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I need to take a class to get this thing going? Or maybe this is an area that isn't really me. I like art, I appreciate art - but maybe it isn't me to create art. (I'll still plan on taking a class to explore this area though)
And film. I have enjoyed making some films in the past, but now that I have a decent video camera of my own and software on my computer - I'm not doing anything with it. I watch Nick in his production work and think that is the kind of thing I ought to be doing.... but I'm not. I find right now that I need to push myself into doing it. So does that mean it isn't a real interest of mine. Maybe (I'm not getting rid of the camera, I'm still considering opportunties to make films that will suit my purposes)
I wonder if I am a chameleon. I adapt and mimic those around me, without knowing what is really me. I've been thinking about what kinds of things I have been interested in that I have not seen others around me do. Like my lacemaking and historical skills (weaving, spinning, etc...) Those I pursued on my own, but have had to put aside because of time constraints of raising a family and working full time. (or were those excuses?)
I've picked up the tatting again and materials for other lacemaking. I need to make time for these things in my life, so am finding venues for expressing them.
I guess that is really the key to determining my real interests, finding the way to express them for myself.
Which actually fullfills part of what this blog was originally about - developing my creative side.
What I am trying to do now as I come across various tasks, is to ask myself -- how can I do this using my other interests, talents or skills -- how can I make this a way to express myself.
I'm rearranging the furniture in my classroom. Trying to set it up more efficiently. Trying to cull the junk and use the storage more effectively. One of my projects is bulletin boards. I decided that instead of punching letters out of construction paper, or printing signs off the computer, I will try making some of the labels more interesting. I picked up some perky scrapbook papers and will try using those for some of the letters. I'll need to back them with black construction paper and laminate them so they will last. Maybe I'll get carried away and use some of the scrapbook paper to make the kids' name tags too........ this could get interesting. I'm also thinking of a film to make for math class. Do I have time to put together a film for back to school night???? (an animation????)
This could be a really fun year. :D
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Back on track
Oh my gosh - the scale said 215 this morning.
That was after breakfast, and it's not even fast Sunday!!
I've been too weary to do the treadmill all week, though I did put in 30 minutes Saturday morning.
Report:
Last Monday and Tuesday nights I stayed up late looking up Theater information. I ordered my stage make up book from college (my copy had been lent out and never returned). I check out Ben Nye's new line of make up (almost ordered a student kit, but resisted)
I checked out plays going on this summer in surrounding areas, I also checked out the Desert Theater League organization.
I stayed awake late thinking about getting back into theater. It has been a while since something like this has stirred me.
So consequently 2 mornings in a row, I was exhausted and my legs hurt (??) I had to nap after school for a couple days and sleep in on Saturday in order to recover. I've been resisting looking up more theater information for awhile. I need to wait for the 3 day weekend.
In the meantime, my make up book has been shipped and should show up any day now..........
I know the gal who was hired to be the new drama teacher at the new high school. I'm thinking of contacting her and volunteering so I can get my hand back in the pie.
Ohhhhhh, do I really need one my thing on my plate?????
In other news, I rearranged my living room. It now looks like a living room. I have a seating area and a dining area. The furniture is early college student "make do", but it is progress. When Todd finally picks up his stuff (warning: It goes to DI in the fall if not rescued), I plan to buy my own real grown up furniture. It's kind of nice to see how the furniture fits in the room, so as I plan my purchases I know my limitations. I am looking for a nice dining table first! David you don't need to be embarressed to bring friends over to our house anymore. We will look civilized soon.
That was after breakfast, and it's not even fast Sunday!!
I've been too weary to do the treadmill all week, though I did put in 30 minutes Saturday morning.
Report:
Last Monday and Tuesday nights I stayed up late looking up Theater information. I ordered my stage make up book from college (my copy had been lent out and never returned). I check out Ben Nye's new line of make up (almost ordered a student kit, but resisted)
I checked out plays going on this summer in surrounding areas, I also checked out the Desert Theater League organization.
I stayed awake late thinking about getting back into theater. It has been a while since something like this has stirred me.
So consequently 2 mornings in a row, I was exhausted and my legs hurt (??) I had to nap after school for a couple days and sleep in on Saturday in order to recover. I've been resisting looking up more theater information for awhile. I need to wait for the 3 day weekend.
In the meantime, my make up book has been shipped and should show up any day now..........
I know the gal who was hired to be the new drama teacher at the new high school. I'm thinking of contacting her and volunteering so I can get my hand back in the pie.
Ohhhhhh, do I really need one my thing on my plate?????
In other news, I rearranged my living room. It now looks like a living room. I have a seating area and a dining area. The furniture is early college student "make do", but it is progress. When Todd finally picks up his stuff (warning: It goes to DI in the fall if not rescued), I plan to buy my own real grown up furniture. It's kind of nice to see how the furniture fits in the room, so as I plan my purchases I know my limitations. I am looking for a nice dining table first! David you don't need to be embarressed to bring friends over to our house anymore. We will look civilized soon.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
oh no! not publicly publishing the number I saw this morning on the scale!
what is going on??????
No treadmill this morning - slept in a couple of moments before getting ready for seminary pickup.
I'm babysitting in seminary tomorrow, so no treadmill again.
I'm afraid to see what the scale is going to show.
report: The kids were pretty wild today. I was on the edge trying to keep them under control all day. Tomorrow is going to be kind of crazy as we finish up some final projects for mother's day.
I'm at the point where I am starting to reflect on what I want to do differently next year. Problem is I don't know where I will be next year. We got the news this morning that we expect to downsize by 6 teachers next year - so I may well be put in another grade level, or even still possibly be picked up for the new middle school. I guess that will help me not spend too much time this summer planning for school. I'll actually get a vacation.
My projects on the list so far: My health, my house, family history book project for Christmas, and finish some of the projects that have been sitting here undone for years. Oh and 2 weeks of travel overseas. That should keep me busy for 10 weeks.
what is going on??????
No treadmill this morning - slept in a couple of moments before getting ready for seminary pickup.
I'm babysitting in seminary tomorrow, so no treadmill again.
I'm afraid to see what the scale is going to show.
report: The kids were pretty wild today. I was on the edge trying to keep them under control all day. Tomorrow is going to be kind of crazy as we finish up some final projects for mother's day.
I'm at the point where I am starting to reflect on what I want to do differently next year. Problem is I don't know where I will be next year. We got the news this morning that we expect to downsize by 6 teachers next year - so I may well be put in another grade level, or even still possibly be picked up for the new middle school. I guess that will help me not spend too much time this summer planning for school. I'll actually get a vacation.
My projects on the list so far: My health, my house, family history book project for Christmas, and finish some of the projects that have been sitting here undone for years. Oh and 2 weeks of travel overseas. That should keep me busy for 10 weeks.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
set back and intrigue
arghhhh!
219 this morning
(shouldn't have had that extra serving of Jambalya, or maybe it was the strawberry shortcake --- no no no, it's gotta be a hormonal flux, beginning of the month and all, arghhh!)
But good on the treadmill. 30 minutes this morning and an additional 30 after school
(can't do it tomorrow morning, I have seminary pickup duty)
A set back, but I don't feel like its a set back -- so no backsliding yet.... (don't say yet, bad precident)
Report: Something interesting has come up at work at the last minute today. I can't go into all the details, but it has to do with a group of somewhat disident (sp?) teachers who are putting together a complaint to the superintendent about their feelings that a hostile environment exists at the school site. I don't know what they are experiencing, but they are going about it in a cloak and dagger kind of way, but there was a leak of information -- so now a suspicious hostility has been created causing some hard feelings and devisivness. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Sometimes the adults are worse than the kids.
219 this morning
(shouldn't have had that extra serving of Jambalya, or maybe it was the strawberry shortcake --- no no no, it's gotta be a hormonal flux, beginning of the month and all, arghhh!)
But good on the treadmill. 30 minutes this morning and an additional 30 after school
(can't do it tomorrow morning, I have seminary pickup duty)
A set back, but I don't feel like its a set back -- so no backsliding yet.... (don't say yet, bad precident)
Report: Something interesting has come up at work at the last minute today. I can't go into all the details, but it has to do with a group of somewhat disident (sp?) teachers who are putting together a complaint to the superintendent about their feelings that a hostile environment exists at the school site. I don't know what they are experiencing, but they are going about it in a cloak and dagger kind of way, but there was a leak of information -- so now a suspicious hostility has been created causing some hard feelings and devisivness. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Sometimes the adults are worse than the kids.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Reflection on a crisis
weight this morning 216 - yeah!!!
(I saw 215 after fasting this Sunday :D )
Treadmill - did 25 minutes, I started late and had to end a touch early so I wouldn't be late for work.
I did do the treadmill for 40 minutes and yardwork yesterday - so got a good workout.
Today's report - a reflection.
I've been feeling rather conflicted lately. Lost, confused, not sure what I want to do with myself, not sure why I feel like I have to do anything with myself. I feel a drive to make something happen, but don't know what.
I've felt a stab of jealousy toward my daughter??!! That surprised me!
I'm extremely greatful we have a terrific relationship. And what's more she has said so too.
I feel a need for a change of some kind.
After several days (weeks?)of this it dawned on me that I am having a mid-life crisis. It's the kind of feeling alot of young people have after graduating high school. Not sure what to do next, how to do it, etc.... I was lucky after high school. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how to go about it. I moved along pretty well until my Junior year of college. That is when I freaked and realized I wasn't going in the right direction and had to pause to think about things. I went back home and got married - which defined my life for the next 30 years.
So it's been 30 years and the last baby is almost grown. Now what?
I can't quit my job - I'm too close to a great retirement package. I can't leave the area for the same reason. I don't really want to start anything big and new right now, I'm so overwhelmed and busy as it is.
I have been feeling unaccomplished.
So I did what I usually do when conflicting feelings get to me - I made some lists.
I listed skills I have - like cooking, sewing, teaching, etc... I came up with a satisfactory list. I realized that there are a lot of things I can do, that I just don't do for whatever reason.
I then connected these things together under some specific personal goals - like getting my appearance and health where I want them to be. I realized I have the skills to do that.
I also realized that I have a couple very clear wants that I can begin working on right now.
I like the idea of working on something that will have tangible, permanent and final results.
The problem with being a homemake, teacher, mother, etc.... is that the job is never done. The bulk of my days have been spent doing the same tasks over and over again, with the results being hard to see (even in teaching - the kids leave for the next grade and I get a new batch. I don't get to see long term the affects of my efforts).
It was liberating somewhat to see that there are some specific things I really want to accomplish, and that I have the talents/skills to work on them. For the sake of full disclosure the 4 main desires I came up with are:
1. I want to improve my health and appearance
2. I want to improve the appearance of my home.
3. I want to make a contribution to society.
4. I want a creative outlet to express myself.
I added to the bottom of my skills and can do list, things that I would like to learn to do. I can see clearly that most of those are in the creative expression area. I guess I feel a real need for a creative outlet. Not surprising as this was one of the original goals of this blog for this year. I'm also starting to see a 5th desire I need to add to the list.
5. I want to interact socially more with those around me.
As I googled female midlife crisis, it appears that there are alot of women who redefine or reinvent themselves at this time (I like the word "reinvent" - feels like a fun challenge). I think my reinvention will come in how I finally decide to make my contribution to society (yes, yes, I know that teaching is a contribution - but it's my job. I am ready for an altruistic contribution, of sorts). I'm not ready yet to announce what that passion will be yet. In the meantime I am comfortable with working on my body and home (and social outreach).
So I'm really not doing anything terribly new, but I feel like I have some sense of direction now.
I still have a busy schedule, but as retirement moves closer I can consider moving into phase 2 which will include meeting more of desires 3 and 4. I can think of it as lower division and upper division goals. Like getting a college degree. I will get a Masters in being Me.
(I saw 215 after fasting this Sunday :D )
Treadmill - did 25 minutes, I started late and had to end a touch early so I wouldn't be late for work.
I did do the treadmill for 40 minutes and yardwork yesterday - so got a good workout.
Today's report - a reflection.
I've been feeling rather conflicted lately. Lost, confused, not sure what I want to do with myself, not sure why I feel like I have to do anything with myself. I feel a drive to make something happen, but don't know what.
I've felt a stab of jealousy toward my daughter??!! That surprised me!
I'm extremely greatful we have a terrific relationship. And what's more she has said so too.
I feel a need for a change of some kind.
After several days (weeks?)of this it dawned on me that I am having a mid-life crisis. It's the kind of feeling alot of young people have after graduating high school. Not sure what to do next, how to do it, etc.... I was lucky after high school. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how to go about it. I moved along pretty well until my Junior year of college. That is when I freaked and realized I wasn't going in the right direction and had to pause to think about things. I went back home and got married - which defined my life for the next 30 years.
So it's been 30 years and the last baby is almost grown. Now what?
I can't quit my job - I'm too close to a great retirement package. I can't leave the area for the same reason. I don't really want to start anything big and new right now, I'm so overwhelmed and busy as it is.
I have been feeling unaccomplished.
So I did what I usually do when conflicting feelings get to me - I made some lists.
I listed skills I have - like cooking, sewing, teaching, etc... I came up with a satisfactory list. I realized that there are a lot of things I can do, that I just don't do for whatever reason.
I then connected these things together under some specific personal goals - like getting my appearance and health where I want them to be. I realized I have the skills to do that.
I also realized that I have a couple very clear wants that I can begin working on right now.
I like the idea of working on something that will have tangible, permanent and final results.
The problem with being a homemake, teacher, mother, etc.... is that the job is never done. The bulk of my days have been spent doing the same tasks over and over again, with the results being hard to see (even in teaching - the kids leave for the next grade and I get a new batch. I don't get to see long term the affects of my efforts).
It was liberating somewhat to see that there are some specific things I really want to accomplish, and that I have the talents/skills to work on them. For the sake of full disclosure the 4 main desires I came up with are:
1. I want to improve my health and appearance
2. I want to improve the appearance of my home.
3. I want to make a contribution to society.
4. I want a creative outlet to express myself.
I added to the bottom of my skills and can do list, things that I would like to learn to do. I can see clearly that most of those are in the creative expression area. I guess I feel a real need for a creative outlet. Not surprising as this was one of the original goals of this blog for this year. I'm also starting to see a 5th desire I need to add to the list.
5. I want to interact socially more with those around me.
As I googled female midlife crisis, it appears that there are alot of women who redefine or reinvent themselves at this time (I like the word "reinvent" - feels like a fun challenge). I think my reinvention will come in how I finally decide to make my contribution to society (yes, yes, I know that teaching is a contribution - but it's my job. I am ready for an altruistic contribution, of sorts). I'm not ready yet to announce what that passion will be yet. In the meantime I am comfortable with working on my body and home (and social outreach).
So I'm really not doing anything terribly new, but I feel like I have some sense of direction now.
I still have a busy schedule, but as retirement moves closer I can consider moving into phase 2 which will include meeting more of desires 3 and 4. I can think of it as lower division and upper division goals. Like getting a college degree. I will get a Masters in being Me.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
What I thought I saw
Been super busy lately - but that is facebook news.
It was quite striking to me because the bulk of it was black and white. The bit of color in it really stood out. The center of the picure looked like two trees in fall follage against a yellow background -there was a dark green hedge that ran down the middle. The trees were distinctly black and white, with a shadow on their left sides that was a bit removed from the left edge - creating a shadow line kind of thing. The grass below was just a sketch, as was the unfinished tree and bush on the left side. On the right side was the beginnings of what was probably two more trees, but they were unfinished.
So why was Ronni laughing - what was it really?
Now bare in mind, I have a sever cataract in my right eye (operation set for April 20!), so my imagination is helped by the natural blurring of what I see at any distance. I knew there wasn't a landscape sitting on top of my file cabinet. On closer inspection...
It was a yellow scrubbing sponge - the kind with the green scouring bottom that was apparently curled up a bit to reveal the green along the edge I could see (yellow sky and green hedge). This was sitting on a piece of paper that had some lines and makings on it, creating the grass, side bush and side trees. The two main trees in the center were created by white shoe laces draped over the top. They had black writing down them that created the tree trunk shadows. The follage? This whole mess was sitting on top of a couple of homemade pink floral cards -- I guess my eye translated the pink to fall follage colors.
I think my landscape is much more attractive then the sponge and shoelace mess. After getting the rough draft sketch done, I cleaned up the mess. As a matter of fact, during conference broadcast today I managed to get my whole desk area straightened up. I even had a little time to work on a cross stitch project I started over 3 years ago.
It felt good to be productive today and not just running around putting out social fires.
You know how when you look at designs on fabric or curves in floor tile, sometimes you see pictures. And then when you go back to find them again, you can't see them anymore? Many times I have wanted to sketch what I see, so I can hold the picture of it in my memory. On the curtain in my bathroom, above my bathtub - there are fairies in big flowery bathing suits.... At least they used to be there. I can't find them anymore.
Yesterday I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking over to my desk area - when I saw a very beautiful landscape on my file cabinet. I didn't move, but had Ronni bring me my sketch pad. I explained to her what I was seeing as I drew it, which made her laugh. I knew it was actually a collection of objects that created the design, but I wanted to capture it before it dissolved into mundane nothingness. The colors struck me as they constrasted agains the black and white surrounding them.
OK - this is my rough sketch (no colors):
This is another sketch of what it looks like with color added (the way I saw it - for the most part):
It was quite striking to me because the bulk of it was black and white. The bit of color in it really stood out. The center of the picure looked like two trees in fall follage against a yellow background -there was a dark green hedge that ran down the middle. The trees were distinctly black and white, with a shadow on their left sides that was a bit removed from the left edge - creating a shadow line kind of thing. The grass below was just a sketch, as was the unfinished tree and bush on the left side. On the right side was the beginnings of what was probably two more trees, but they were unfinished.
So why was Ronni laughing - what was it really?
Now bare in mind, I have a sever cataract in my right eye (operation set for April 20!), so my imagination is helped by the natural blurring of what I see at any distance. I knew there wasn't a landscape sitting on top of my file cabinet. On closer inspection...
It was a yellow scrubbing sponge - the kind with the green scouring bottom that was apparently curled up a bit to reveal the green along the edge I could see (yellow sky and green hedge). This was sitting on a piece of paper that had some lines and makings on it, creating the grass, side bush and side trees. The two main trees in the center were created by white shoe laces draped over the top. They had black writing down them that created the tree trunk shadows. The follage? This whole mess was sitting on top of a couple of homemade pink floral cards -- I guess my eye translated the pink to fall follage colors.
I think my landscape is much more attractive then the sponge and shoelace mess. After getting the rough draft sketch done, I cleaned up the mess. As a matter of fact, during conference broadcast today I managed to get my whole desk area straightened up. I even had a little time to work on a cross stitch project I started over 3 years ago.
It felt good to be productive today and not just running around putting out social fires.
Monday, March 30, 2009
World travel
It is confirmed, Ronni and I are going to Europe this summer. We will spend about 3 days in Paris, another somewhere in the French countryside, about 3 or so days in Switzerland, then on to Germany for about a week.
Kathy is going there to visit with her in-laws, so Loretta and Mom thought it would be fun to meet up with them over there. I heard about the trip and wanted to join in. I love travel, of course, but I really wanted Ronni to have the opportunity to go to France and hear the language spoken in its "natural" environment. I was thinking more like next summer, but since Loretta is planning a trip now, I'm happy to piggy back and use her freeby hotels and friends for lodging.
I was hoping to actually spend more time in Paris, but we can squeeze in the main attractions. We will spend a day in the Lourve, another day touring using the on/off tour busses (Loved those in Dublin and London). We plan to take sketch books and take pictures of ourselves drawing along the Seine and wherever.
I want to see if I can contact one of the wards or branches there ahead of time to see if there might be someone Ronni's age that can join us for a day or so. It would be so cool if she could get an LDS penpal in France. I hear that Anime is very popular there, so chances are good she can meet up with someone who has similar interests.
It has been ages since I have tried speaking French. I'll need to study up. Ronni will be our official interpreter.
Kathy is going there to visit with her in-laws, so Loretta and Mom thought it would be fun to meet up with them over there. I heard about the trip and wanted to join in. I love travel, of course, but I really wanted Ronni to have the opportunity to go to France and hear the language spoken in its "natural" environment. I was thinking more like next summer, but since Loretta is planning a trip now, I'm happy to piggy back and use her freeby hotels and friends for lodging.
I was hoping to actually spend more time in Paris, but we can squeeze in the main attractions. We will spend a day in the Lourve, another day touring using the on/off tour busses (Loved those in Dublin and London). We plan to take sketch books and take pictures of ourselves drawing along the Seine and wherever.
I want to see if I can contact one of the wards or branches there ahead of time to see if there might be someone Ronni's age that can join us for a day or so. It would be so cool if she could get an LDS penpal in France. I hear that Anime is very popular there, so chances are good she can meet up with someone who has similar interests.
It has been ages since I have tried speaking French. I'll need to study up. Ronni will be our official interpreter.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
breaking free - not
weight: 117 (good - even when I ate a couple cupcakes)
treadmill: yes, being good this week, 30 minutes everyday in the morning.
creativity goal: gotta decorate a cake for a Relief Society Activity
Observations:
Nick wrote a comment about wanting to vent and speak his mind, but he worried about offending people. I responded to him that I too would like to be able to do that. I've considered starting a blog, but keeping my identity secret - so I could say some things on my mind that I am not sure I want everyone on my facebook or myspace friends lists to know about. What is the point of venting if you are not listened to. A hidden identity reminds me of that proverbial tree that falls deep in the forest. Who knows or cares?
I know I care to hear about other people's issues. I care deeply about the concerns and worries of my children. Even when I am the issue that is bothering them (I try to reign myself in)
I think knowing about the real person inside - the pain, the insecurities, the "issues", helps us to really know each other well.
But a blog is a very impersonal environment.
I'm reminded of PostSecrets where people send in their secrets on a post card, which is then posted on a website for all the world to read. Annonymous sharing of deepest feelings.
Secrets - some are not really any big deal to others, so why do we hord them and hide them and let them fester in us?
Is keeping a public happy face necessary for the smooth functioning of society?
I'm not talking about the constant whining - that is annoying and probably bad for mental health. Where can one go to share without being judged or "counseled" - sometimes I don't want it fixed, I just want others to understand what I'm dealing with.
Sometimes I need a hug. I don't get hugs - that is one of my secrets. The cat gets cuddled more than I do. Dr. Temple Grandin, an autistic person, created a hug machine for herself because she realized the value of deep tissue pressure to help calm and sooth the muscles and nerves. Being autistic, she is hyper sensitive to touch - but was able to get the therapy she realized she needed via the squeeze machine.
I have a pillow I hug at night, and that helps. Once, years ago, during a deep depression period of time, I hugged a large stuff toy. I was amazed at how calming and soothing that felt. It really made a big difference to wrap my arms around it and feel the soft pressure on my upper torso and face. I remember sharing the sensation at a weight watcher's meeting. The gal who was the leader suggested I might have trouble loosing weight if I have this lack of emotional support.
Once, a couple years ago, a young man from the singles ward that I have worked with in the past, took my hand - and instead of shaking it, as is our custom, lifted it up and kissed the back of it. I was overwhelmed with intense emotions. It felt so good! I was feeling like a 50 year old fool, swooning over a young man. That made me realize how intensely empty my emotional well was. The next time I met that young man, I had to make a point of avoiding getting too close. I know that confused him because he was always friendly -- one of those taught to hug friends. I so wanted a hug, but didn't dare trust my emotions.
My oldest son has been come a goodbye hugger - very unusual for him compared to his youth, but a nice development. I rarely get to see him.
My second son has always been a hugger of sorts - but I see him even less.
No one else here shows affection. If I try to initiate a hug, they tolerate it (if I can catch them).
The cat will want to cuddle - meaning I'm allowed to pet and rub her. But she doesn't want me to pick her up at all.
So I am not hugged, one painful secret - part of my secret picture.
Report - I felt good about the cake I decorated for our Relief Society birthday. It came out nice. Only one slice was taken though, so I got to bring it home. I put raspberries in the center filling (chocolate icing), yum - I love raspberries in chocolate. Though I think I wasted my time fussing over making the cake and worrying about getting it right. The other cakes were either store bought or in a sheet pan. I could have saved a lot of effort.
treadmill: yes, being good this week, 30 minutes everyday in the morning.
creativity goal: gotta decorate a cake for a Relief Society Activity
Observations:
Nick wrote a comment about wanting to vent and speak his mind, but he worried about offending people. I responded to him that I too would like to be able to do that. I've considered starting a blog, but keeping my identity secret - so I could say some things on my mind that I am not sure I want everyone on my facebook or myspace friends lists to know about. What is the point of venting if you are not listened to. A hidden identity reminds me of that proverbial tree that falls deep in the forest. Who knows or cares?
I know I care to hear about other people's issues. I care deeply about the concerns and worries of my children. Even when I am the issue that is bothering them (I try to reign myself in)
I think knowing about the real person inside - the pain, the insecurities, the "issues", helps us to really know each other well.
But a blog is a very impersonal environment.
I'm reminded of PostSecrets where people send in their secrets on a post card, which is then posted on a website for all the world to read. Annonymous sharing of deepest feelings.
Secrets - some are not really any big deal to others, so why do we hord them and hide them and let them fester in us?
Is keeping a public happy face necessary for the smooth functioning of society?
I'm not talking about the constant whining - that is annoying and probably bad for mental health. Where can one go to share without being judged or "counseled" - sometimes I don't want it fixed, I just want others to understand what I'm dealing with.
Sometimes I need a hug. I don't get hugs - that is one of my secrets. The cat gets cuddled more than I do. Dr. Temple Grandin, an autistic person, created a hug machine for herself because she realized the value of deep tissue pressure to help calm and sooth the muscles and nerves. Being autistic, she is hyper sensitive to touch - but was able to get the therapy she realized she needed via the squeeze machine.
I have a pillow I hug at night, and that helps. Once, years ago, during a deep depression period of time, I hugged a large stuff toy. I was amazed at how calming and soothing that felt. It really made a big difference to wrap my arms around it and feel the soft pressure on my upper torso and face. I remember sharing the sensation at a weight watcher's meeting. The gal who was the leader suggested I might have trouble loosing weight if I have this lack of emotional support.
Once, a couple years ago, a young man from the singles ward that I have worked with in the past, took my hand - and instead of shaking it, as is our custom, lifted it up and kissed the back of it. I was overwhelmed with intense emotions. It felt so good! I was feeling like a 50 year old fool, swooning over a young man. That made me realize how intensely empty my emotional well was. The next time I met that young man, I had to make a point of avoiding getting too close. I know that confused him because he was always friendly -- one of those taught to hug friends. I so wanted a hug, but didn't dare trust my emotions.
My oldest son has been come a goodbye hugger - very unusual for him compared to his youth, but a nice development. I rarely get to see him.
My second son has always been a hugger of sorts - but I see him even less.
No one else here shows affection. If I try to initiate a hug, they tolerate it (if I can catch them).
The cat will want to cuddle - meaning I'm allowed to pet and rub her. But she doesn't want me to pick her up at all.
So I am not hugged, one painful secret - part of my secret picture.
Report - I felt good about the cake I decorated for our Relief Society birthday. It came out nice. Only one slice was taken though, so I got to bring it home. I put raspberries in the center filling (chocolate icing), yum - I love raspberries in chocolate. Though I think I wasted my time fussing over making the cake and worrying about getting it right. The other cakes were either store bought or in a sheet pan. I could have saved a lot of effort.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Feeling all wet
weight: 218 (guess it wasn't a hormonal bump)
treadmill: yes - 30 minutes
Didn't set any specific goals for today, but did have an interview scheduled.
I took the whole week off. Slept in, didn't watch my eating, didn't get on the treadmill. Sometimes I just need to break away.
I've been mulling over some ideas and self explorations. I realize that I tend to quit on things just before I finish them. I wonder why. I do think I am concerned that I don't do things well, so maybe I quit so I can't fail. There is some logic in that. If it isn't done, it isn't a total failure - it's in progress still.
In my new calling I have been handed some "hurry up and take care of this" kind of responsibilities. My knee jerk reaction is to put off taking care of things. But I want to do well, I want to be successful at this. I'm pleased to say, that so far, I have jumped right in and haven't thought twice about making phone calls or contacting folks via e-mail. So far I am enjoying some success. But things are getting busy - I am concerned that I am going to get lost in alot of last minute "to does," such that I won't have the time to make some long term effective plans.
(warning - change in topic)
I don't think I'm a particulary successful blogger. I tend to ramble and vent. Though venting is a valid type of blog. I read others that tell creative narratives, or of exciting things happening in the lives of others....and I feel mine is blahhhh.
I need an outlet to express my ideas, as unstructured or random as they may be. I know I tend to be wordy - maybe a good blog dump will save my husband and children from having to listen to me ramble on.
(another topic change)I got to talk to a young mother on Sunday who I have been curious about for some time.
I won't share details of our conversation for fear that someone reading this might figure out who she is. I respect her privacy.
But she has gone through some difficult times in her life and still deals with the consequences of it all. She struggles for happiness and emotional survival. Now isn't that a vague enough statement to describe many of us? Don't we struggle for happiness and emotional stablility. Is it a woman thing that we feel guilt and less than acceptable? We tend to feel we always miss the mark. I'm not saying that the issues this woman is dealing with aren't truly overwhelming - they are. She is fighting a valiant fight against terrible odds.
I think back on all the fine women I have known who have been so encouraging for me. Those who call me talented, who brag to others about my great teaching skills, or my fantastic talks. Who claim to look forward to my lessons or comments. Who proclaim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when my daughter does something terrific. They build me, they encourage me, they feed my inner little girl who is only trying to please, but feels like I'm not worthy.
I crave those words where someone says "well done."
I know I need to say those words to others. There are many who are starving and sick with self doubt or overwhelming negatives.
We are vessels of living water/love. Some of us feel empty and need to be filled. Some are fortunate enough to be overflowing and able to share with others.
It is my thought that even those of us who feel like we have a hole in our buckets, can be generous and help fill the buckets of others. That maybe there will be a general splashing that in turn will refill ours. Living water/love is not finite. It increases with sharing.
For too long I have hoarded my water. I need to be more generous.
So maybe for the next month or so, my exploration of the world will involve some splashing.
treadmill: yes - 30 minutes
Didn't set any specific goals for today, but did have an interview scheduled.
I took the whole week off. Slept in, didn't watch my eating, didn't get on the treadmill. Sometimes I just need to break away.
I've been mulling over some ideas and self explorations. I realize that I tend to quit on things just before I finish them. I wonder why. I do think I am concerned that I don't do things well, so maybe I quit so I can't fail. There is some logic in that. If it isn't done, it isn't a total failure - it's in progress still.
In my new calling I have been handed some "hurry up and take care of this" kind of responsibilities. My knee jerk reaction is to put off taking care of things. But I want to do well, I want to be successful at this. I'm pleased to say, that so far, I have jumped right in and haven't thought twice about making phone calls or contacting folks via e-mail. So far I am enjoying some success. But things are getting busy - I am concerned that I am going to get lost in alot of last minute "to does," such that I won't have the time to make some long term effective plans.
(warning - change in topic)
I don't think I'm a particulary successful blogger. I tend to ramble and vent. Though venting is a valid type of blog. I read others that tell creative narratives, or of exciting things happening in the lives of others....and I feel mine is blahhhh.
I need an outlet to express my ideas, as unstructured or random as they may be. I know I tend to be wordy - maybe a good blog dump will save my husband and children from having to listen to me ramble on.
(another topic change)I got to talk to a young mother on Sunday who I have been curious about for some time.
I won't share details of our conversation for fear that someone reading this might figure out who she is. I respect her privacy.
But she has gone through some difficult times in her life and still deals with the consequences of it all. She struggles for happiness and emotional survival. Now isn't that a vague enough statement to describe many of us? Don't we struggle for happiness and emotional stablility. Is it a woman thing that we feel guilt and less than acceptable? We tend to feel we always miss the mark. I'm not saying that the issues this woman is dealing with aren't truly overwhelming - they are. She is fighting a valiant fight against terrible odds.
I think back on all the fine women I have known who have been so encouraging for me. Those who call me talented, who brag to others about my great teaching skills, or my fantastic talks. Who claim to look forward to my lessons or comments. Who proclaim that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree when my daughter does something terrific. They build me, they encourage me, they feed my inner little girl who is only trying to please, but feels like I'm not worthy.
I crave those words where someone says "well done."
I know I need to say those words to others. There are many who are starving and sick with self doubt or overwhelming negatives.
We are vessels of living water/love. Some of us feel empty and need to be filled. Some are fortunate enough to be overflowing and able to share with others.
It is my thought that even those of us who feel like we have a hole in our buckets, can be generous and help fill the buckets of others. That maybe there will be a general splashing that in turn will refill ours. Living water/love is not finite. It increases with sharing.
For too long I have hoarded my water. I need to be more generous.
So maybe for the next month or so, my exploration of the world will involve some splashing.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
weekend
I'm taking the day off, but found something to share. Sean wrote about this on his blog. It is exciting to see the church use the modern technology in this way, both Internet and Video:
Hope this inbeds properly
There are more - use the link on lds.org to go to Mormon Messages on YouTube.
(Sean insists I put the link to Mormon Messages directly. OK - but go ahead and check out the church website too)
Alright Sean. Do I get an A now?
Hope this inbeds properly
There are more - use the link on lds.org to go to Mormon Messages on YouTube.
(Sean insists I put the link to Mormon Messages directly. OK - but go ahead and check out the church website too)
Alright Sean. Do I get an A now?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Field days 12 and 13
day 12
weight: 118
treadmill: yes 30 minutes
day 13
weight: 118 (most be retaining water, still getting a hormonal flux I guess)
treadmill: no
Field report:
I'm rebelling.
I'm tired of getting up early and being on the treadmill. I'm tired of eating vegetables for breakfast. I'm tired of paperwork and clutter.
I'm also frustrated with health issues. I'm mad at my doctor for referering me to an endicrinologist (spelling wrong) that I've already seen and don't trust. He didn't know any better, but now I'll have to find someone else to see instead. (specialist, not reg. doctor = I'll have to train him to check with me first before calling in a referral)
On a more postive note: I got my report cards finished, I turned in some paperwork on time, my knee felt good today, I actually had a little more energy today (so take that treadmill!).
I plan to have fun at school tomorrow - time for more art.
I'll get over my health rebellion and take care of my self, but I needed a break.
Exploration --- I looked at the stars last night. It has been awhile. My friend Orion is in the sky. It was good to see him again (even if he did a look a little fuzzy through this bad eye). Isn't it amazing how people used to study the sky and learn so much. We are so busy this days we miss the awesome beauty and classroom of nature around us. We take way too much for granted.
weight: 118
treadmill: yes 30 minutes
day 13
weight: 118 (most be retaining water, still getting a hormonal flux I guess)
treadmill: no
Field report:
I'm rebelling.
I'm tired of getting up early and being on the treadmill. I'm tired of eating vegetables for breakfast. I'm tired of paperwork and clutter.
I'm also frustrated with health issues. I'm mad at my doctor for referering me to an endicrinologist (spelling wrong) that I've already seen and don't trust. He didn't know any better, but now I'll have to find someone else to see instead. (specialist, not reg. doctor = I'll have to train him to check with me first before calling in a referral)
On a more postive note: I got my report cards finished, I turned in some paperwork on time, my knee felt good today, I actually had a little more energy today (so take that treadmill!).
I plan to have fun at school tomorrow - time for more art.
I'll get over my health rebellion and take care of my self, but I needed a break.
Exploration --- I looked at the stars last night. It has been awhile. My friend Orion is in the sky. It was good to see him again (even if he did a look a little fuzzy through this bad eye). Isn't it amazing how people used to study the sky and learn so much. We are so busy this days we miss the awesome beauty and classroom of nature around us. We take way too much for granted.
Monday, March 2, 2009
fieldwork: day 11
weight: 216 - strange, after a fast Sunday
treadmill - yes, 30 minutes, bright and early this morning
significant chore - getting caught up on school paperwork, time to do grades
exploration goal: We are going to a play today. I'll see what I can garner from that.
Fieldreport: Wow, got up really early - but enjoyed it leisurely, so I wasn't really especially early to work.
The field trip was great - we saw the Dallas Children's Theater group do Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters. There were a few spots in the show that dragged, but all in all it was very good. I waa particulary intrigued by the dancing. There were alot of tribal, African style movements. The music was a mix of reggie and tribal sounds. Though as I thought about it, reggie comes from the Carribean, where many African Slaves were brought centuries ago. I also got a sense of New Orleans - which would also be influenced by the African heritage. The movements were fluid and beautiful. The other day in the newspaper I saw a picture of a black man dancing, and the caption mentioned some special style of street dancing. I wonder if it relates at all to some of the movements I saw on stage today?
The set was well used. There were some large stage pieces that at times were trees, walls of the hut, or walls of the king's palace. The lighting affects were simple, yet effective. The show was done with a total of 7 performers. Some played multiple parts and it worked quite well.
The audience was quite caught up in the drumming, many times joining with clapping the beat. At the end many of the students got up and joined in the swaying, arm reaching dancing. I was fun to see.
I am still behind on getting my paperwork caught up, but I think I'll meet the report card deadline. I found a couple of kids who are missing some math tests. I thought I had done a better job of getting their papers into the make up basket.
My Doctor called today. My blood and lab work came back. He wants to refer me to an endocrynologist (spelling?). I am so annoyed with that idea. I don't want to behaving any issues that require anything drastic. I want to be healthy and accomplish my goals. But when it comes to my health, sometimes I over worry - so maybe it isn't soo bad.
treadmill - yes, 30 minutes, bright and early this morning
significant chore - getting caught up on school paperwork, time to do grades
exploration goal: We are going to a play today. I'll see what I can garner from that.
Fieldreport: Wow, got up really early - but enjoyed it leisurely, so I wasn't really especially early to work.
The field trip was great - we saw the Dallas Children's Theater group do Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters. There were a few spots in the show that dragged, but all in all it was very good. I waa particulary intrigued by the dancing. There were alot of tribal, African style movements. The music was a mix of reggie and tribal sounds. Though as I thought about it, reggie comes from the Carribean, where many African Slaves were brought centuries ago. I also got a sense of New Orleans - which would also be influenced by the African heritage. The movements were fluid and beautiful. The other day in the newspaper I saw a picture of a black man dancing, and the caption mentioned some special style of street dancing. I wonder if it relates at all to some of the movements I saw on stage today?
The set was well used. There were some large stage pieces that at times were trees, walls of the hut, or walls of the king's palace. The lighting affects were simple, yet effective. The show was done with a total of 7 performers. Some played multiple parts and it worked quite well.
The audience was quite caught up in the drumming, many times joining with clapping the beat. At the end many of the students got up and joined in the swaying, arm reaching dancing. I was fun to see.
I am still behind on getting my paperwork caught up, but I think I'll meet the report card deadline. I found a couple of kids who are missing some math tests. I thought I had done a better job of getting their papers into the make up basket.
My Doctor called today. My blood and lab work came back. He wants to refer me to an endocrynologist (spelling?). I am so annoyed with that idea. I don't want to behaving any issues that require anything drastic. I want to be healthy and accomplish my goals. But when it comes to my health, sometimes I over worry - so maybe it isn't soo bad.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
fieldwork day 10
weight: 215
treadmill: 30 minutes - watched episode of Murphy Brown too. Love that show!
Significant chore: get some classroom paperwork and cleaning caught up. Also need to accomplish something here at home.
Exploration opportunities: Well, I should work on my painting.
Fieldwork;
As the day starts I am really sluggish. I think I am in a depressed cycle right now. Gotta snap out of this.
Partway through the day - arrgh - still dragging here. Skipped out on going to my classroom. I was able to get the school webpage updated from home. I have some papers I can grade here and enter via the Internet - so I'll be caught up on the most important stuff. If I get in early on Monday (ha,ha,ha,ha), I can get a little done. We will be going on a field trip, so I can finish up after school (ha,ha,ha,ha).
Nick heard about my funk and roped me in to helping him solve an online puzzle. go to: http://www.iamnottome.com/. It'll look like only a picture, but actually it is a riddle to solve. After solving each one you go deeper and deeper into the riddle. Nick showed me how the first page worked, then I made a suggestion for the second page (I figured out the words were lyrics to a song - Nick was surprised I picked that up so quick, little did I know he had already solved that page and was just humoring me). We continued on another page, and again Nick was a little surprised at my ideas for solving - again, he had already solved it. So we got onto the 4th page -where Nick was stumped. We worked together for about 1/2 hour and finally solved it. (Nick figured out the final key - I was able to take the information and then find the answer- good teamwork). In our google searches we found lots of other folks out there working on the puzzle. Some are off on their thinking, some right on. I have to say it did wake me up a bit. But then Nick had to go to work.
I took a nap.
Finally got the porch in back hosed off. I need to find that one feng shui spot in the house that needs work to help pull me out of this blah state. My painting still stands unworked on.
Evening update: I got up after a bit and decided to throw caution to the wind and do a background on my painting. I'm limited in what color tubes I have so it turned out somewhat more vibrant than I was planning. I've had to walk away from it and come back to look at it a couple of times. It is growing on me. It is actually what I wanted to do -experiment with just getting color on canvas. The next time I'll need to add in the flowers and details I want. I left my camera at school -so I'll have to take a picture on Monday. But I do feel some accomplishment now. Cassey told me it always takes more paint than you expect it to. That is very true. I need to go buy more pant now. I'm feeling a little braver about attacking one of these other canvases.
treadmill: 30 minutes - watched episode of Murphy Brown too. Love that show!
Significant chore: get some classroom paperwork and cleaning caught up. Also need to accomplish something here at home.
Exploration opportunities: Well, I should work on my painting.
Fieldwork;
As the day starts I am really sluggish. I think I am in a depressed cycle right now. Gotta snap out of this.
Partway through the day - arrgh - still dragging here. Skipped out on going to my classroom. I was able to get the school webpage updated from home. I have some papers I can grade here and enter via the Internet - so I'll be caught up on the most important stuff. If I get in early on Monday (ha,ha,ha,ha), I can get a little done. We will be going on a field trip, so I can finish up after school (ha,ha,ha,ha).
Nick heard about my funk and roped me in to helping him solve an online puzzle. go to: http://www.iamnottome.com/. It'll look like only a picture, but actually it is a riddle to solve. After solving each one you go deeper and deeper into the riddle. Nick showed me how the first page worked, then I made a suggestion for the second page (I figured out the words were lyrics to a song - Nick was surprised I picked that up so quick, little did I know he had already solved that page and was just humoring me). We continued on another page, and again Nick was a little surprised at my ideas for solving - again, he had already solved it. So we got onto the 4th page -where Nick was stumped. We worked together for about 1/2 hour and finally solved it. (Nick figured out the final key - I was able to take the information and then find the answer- good teamwork). In our google searches we found lots of other folks out there working on the puzzle. Some are off on their thinking, some right on. I have to say it did wake me up a bit. But then Nick had to go to work.
I took a nap.
Finally got the porch in back hosed off. I need to find that one feng shui spot in the house that needs work to help pull me out of this blah state. My painting still stands unworked on.
Evening update: I got up after a bit and decided to throw caution to the wind and do a background on my painting. I'm limited in what color tubes I have so it turned out somewhat more vibrant than I was planning. I've had to walk away from it and come back to look at it a couple of times. It is growing on me. It is actually what I wanted to do -experiment with just getting color on canvas. The next time I'll need to add in the flowers and details I want. I left my camera at school -so I'll have to take a picture on Monday. But I do feel some accomplishment now. Cassey told me it always takes more paint than you expect it to. That is very true. I need to go buy more pant now. I'm feeling a little braver about attacking one of these other canvases.
Friday, February 27, 2009
fieldwork day 9
weight: 216 - no surprises, didn't gain that's good.
treadmill - not today - early seminary again
significant chore: I need to get the bulletin announcments ready for the March bulletin. Tonight is her deadline.
Exploraton opportunities: I'm still a little sluggish here. I need to keep my eyes open.
Field report: We painted in class today. We are studying the works of children's author Eric Carle. He has an interesting way of doing his illustrations by using collage. He creates sheets of painted paper that he uses for cutting out for his collages. In his studio he will spend a day or so painting up these papers, creatively adding swirls, scratches, splots and such. He then files these in drawers by color (Reds, blues, greens, etc....). Then when he wants to create a lady bug or spider, or such, he'll get the color papers he needs and cut and pastes away. (It's a little more complicated than cut and paste - you need to see the video).
We are going to do a bulletin board representing his work, so today we painted sheets of paper to give us the color pieces we need for next week's collage project.
The activity reminded me a little of that art work I had seen at the hospital, so it was fun to begin to play with it.
As we were cleaning up, one of the girls (my class artist) noticed that the colors on the clean up cloth looked quite artistic. So she decided to save the wipey and during free time mounted it on a background paper to make a new piece of artwork. Others copied her with their wipe up cloths. One boy, who wasn't part of the clean up crew, got a clean wipey to color. I as fascinated to see the children make art out of essentially trash like this. Improvised art. This is what it is to be creative, to see the art all around us. To open our minds to the possibilities. Today I got a reminder lesson on seeing art.
treadmill - not today - early seminary again
significant chore: I need to get the bulletin announcments ready for the March bulletin. Tonight is her deadline.
Exploraton opportunities: I'm still a little sluggish here. I need to keep my eyes open.
Field report: We painted in class today. We are studying the works of children's author Eric Carle. He has an interesting way of doing his illustrations by using collage. He creates sheets of painted paper that he uses for cutting out for his collages. In his studio he will spend a day or so painting up these papers, creatively adding swirls, scratches, splots and such. He then files these in drawers by color (Reds, blues, greens, etc....). Then when he wants to create a lady bug or spider, or such, he'll get the color papers he needs and cut and pastes away. (It's a little more complicated than cut and paste - you need to see the video).
We are going to do a bulletin board representing his work, so today we painted sheets of paper to give us the color pieces we need for next week's collage project.
The activity reminded me a little of that art work I had seen at the hospital, so it was fun to begin to play with it.
As we were cleaning up, one of the girls (my class artist) noticed that the colors on the clean up cloth looked quite artistic. So she decided to save the wipey and during free time mounted it on a background paper to make a new piece of artwork. Others copied her with their wipe up cloths. One boy, who wasn't part of the clean up crew, got a clean wipey to color. I as fascinated to see the children make art out of essentially trash like this. Improvised art. This is what it is to be creative, to see the art all around us. To open our minds to the possibilities. Today I got a reminder lesson on seeing art.
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